The mark on Rose’s face had calmed down by later that evening but I hadn’t.  I felt like my emotions were whirring around in me too fast and violent to ever be tamed.  I sat on the bed, I paced, I sat, I paced.  Rose didn’t know what to do with me.

“I don’t think he’ll come after me again if that’s what you’re worried about,” she said twisting a length of hair round her finger. “After what happened in the dining room I’m sure Sebastian has told him to stay away from me”.  “It’s not you I’m worried about it’s me,” I said worriedly, “You didn’t see his face he hates me even more than he did before if that’s possible”. 

“Oh Mercy,” she sighed getting into bed, “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, he’s just annoyed that he got caught out.  Why don’t you come to bed and get some rest it’s been an eventful day”.

I got into bed but I couldn’t rest.  I was too wound up for that.  Images of Jasper and Rose went round and round in my head until I couldn’t stand it anymore.  When I heard that Rose was asleep, I got out of bed and went over to the door and slipped out.

Of all the crazy things I had done this was perhaps the most craziest and dangerous.  But I couldn’t let it go.  I needed something to happen, and now.

In a dream, I turned the knob of Jasper’s door handle and stepped into his room.  The moonlight showed a shape underneath the covers breathing steadily.  I went over and knelt next to the bed so the light was behind me, but full upon Jasper’s perfect sleeping face.  Forgetting the ugly scene at dinner and all his slights towards me, in that moment all I could see was beauty, and my heart pounded with love.

 As if feeling my presence Jasper stirred and woke.  “Rose?” he murmured sleepily, “Is that you?”  I didn’t correct him, although I knew it was wrong of me.  I had a sense of déjà vu as he took my hand and pulled me into bed with him, down into the soft covers and his warm embrace.  I was so startled with joy I could hardly think.  I felt like I was in heaven.  He nuzzled my neck and whispered sweet nothings, and I was so happy I didn’t even stop to think they were meant for another.

“Oh yes Jasper, yes!” I whispered, as he reached up to kiss my lips and before I could stop him brushed one hand along my cheekbone.  He stopped mid stroke after feeling the pits on my face, and his body froze.  Scrambling into action he quickly lit one of the lamps on his bedside table. 

The light was bright and I put my arm across my face to shield me from the glare and the accusation that I knew was coming.  Jasper pulled my arm away and recoiled in horror when he saw it was me and not his beloved Rose.  He inched away from me as far as he could up against the headboard and scrubbed at his mouth with the back of his hand.  This made me angry. 

 “I’m not infectious Jasper, don’t you know anything about the pox? Once you’ve had it you can never have it again”. 
“Don’t say that word in my presence ever again do you hear me?” his voice shook with fear.
“What word Jasper,” I said nastily creeping closer to him, “Pox? Pox, pox, pox, pox, pox!”
“How dare you come in here and pretend to be Rose, do you really think I would’ve done what I did if I knew it had been you?” he said coldly trying to regain his dignity.  He pulled his nightshirt around him as if I were somehow going to tear it off him.  “You’re crazy, I think that disease has made you crazy”.
“Perhaps,” I said “But I still want what’s mine.  You know what I mean”.
“I have no idea what you mean,” he said inching away still further.
“Yes, you do,” I crawled over to him and brought my face close to his. 

He moaned in terror.   See what power I have over you now, I thought as I ran my hands over his chest and over his muscular stomach.  It was a power that Rose would never know.   Stronger than the power of beauty or the power of love.  He was helpless in his fear of the pox.  I could do anything thing I wanted to him and he wouldn’t be able to resist.

Even in the heady throes of my dominion over him I knew in my heart of hearts I didn’t want it.  To control someone by their fear instead of love.  As soon as I realised that, something ended in me like a book being snapped shut.  Whatever purpose I had here in this house was gone, I was free to leave.

I got up off the bed and stood looking down at Jasper.  “Get out of my sight, I never want to see you again,” he said white-faced and broken unable to look me in the eye.  I knew I could never serve him again, to know that you’ve mastered someone and yet serve them coffee as if nothing had happened was too cruel, even for the likes of Jasper.

“With pleasure,” I said, and left the room without looking back.

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1766 Chelmsford, England. Thirteen year old Mercy Graham is infected by smallpox when it rages through her village. Although she survives, her appearance is drastically altered and she fears no one will ever love her for who she is. Desperate for money, her mother sends her to the next village to be a housekeeper for the local pastor. Mercy forms a close bond with Father Sebastian and he takes it upon himself to educate her. However it soon becomes apparent that Father Sebastian isn't as saintly as he makes out. When his friend Jasper arrives, Mercy finds herself unprepared for what ensues and she must fight to assert her right to love and life.

updated Aug 21 '11 by bella_005