SixMature

          INT. SAM'S HOUSE - EVENING/NIGHT CHARACTERS: BRAD, CATELYN,
          SAM, DANIEL

          Brad and Catelyn are sitting on a couch, playing Scrabble.
          Brad is keeping score on a piece of paper. Camera pans out,
          and Sam is sitting across from them playing, next to Daniel
          (completely unexpected). Daniel is spelling a word on the
          board.

                              BRAD
                    Hurry up.

                              DANIEL
                    Dude, bro. This is gonna be sick.

          Finishes word.

                              SAM
                    Memory. That's a good word.

          Brad writes down the score. Daniel looks at Sam and appears
          pleased with himself.

                              SAM
                    Cate, your turn.

          Catelyn thinks for a while. Daniel keeps looking at Sam and
          looking around the room. He is fidgety and excited.

                              CATELYN
                    Is "wuwiok" a word?

                              DANIEL
                    Ha. No.

                              SAM
                    Um...

                              BRAD
                    Yeah dude. Remember in the spirit
                    temple on Zelda, and you fight that
                    huge armored guy before the final
                    boss?

                              CATELYN
                    Oooh yeah. I remember.

                              BRAD
                    Well I'm pretty sure his name is
                    Wuwiok.

          Catelyn spells the word on the board and Brad writes down
          the score. Sam smirks and Daniel looks annoyed.

                              DANIEL
                    Does that really count? I don't
                    think that's a word.

                              BRAD
                    My turn. I've got a good one.
                    "Kite." Double letter score too.

                              CATELYN
                    Are we winning?

                              BRAD
                    We have a million points but
                    remember Sam got infinity points
                    for spelling "poopy."

                              CATELYN
                    Yeah I forgot about poopy.

                              DANIEL
                    Can I keep score?

                              BRAD
                    I'm a level five Scrabble judge.
                    (stares at Daniel) Sam, your turn.

                              SAM
                    Umm..."tomb".

                              CATELYN
                    Yeah that's morbid, so I think you
                    get bonus points.

                              DANIEL
                    Wat

                              CATELYN
                    Daniel, go.

                              DANIEL
                    Oh, oh, oh. Okay. Um..."death".
                    Sweet, double letter score. Do I
                    get a bonus for spelling a morbid
                    word?

                              SAM
                    Yeah I'm pretty sure he gets points
                    for going off of the "fled" and
                    opening up the board.

                              BRAD
                    Yep, you're right.

          Daniel looks pleased.

                              DANIEL
                    So how many points do we have now?

                              CATELYN
                    You have infinity. You still have
                    infinity, remember?

                              DANIEL
                    Whatever.

                              CATELYN
                    Okay, my turn. Uh...What
                    about...what about "berka"? Is that
                    a word?

                              BRAD
                    Oh yeah, definitely.

                              DANIEL
                    Why don't you spell "break?" It's
                    the same letters?

                              CATELYN
                    Oh yeah. Well there was the
                    Watergate Scandal right? Well you
                    know the whole Roswell thing, when
                    Kennedy was president? The alien
                    cover up? I think that was called
                    the Berka Scandal.

                              DANIEL
                    I don't think the aliens were real.

                              BRAD
                    Okay if you add it up, "berka" is
                    on the double letter score, so it's
                    worth infinity points.

                              SAM
                    Nice. (high fives Catelyn)

                              BRAD
                    Sweet. It's a tie.

                              DANIEL
                    Hey Brad, want to take a smoke real
                    quick?

                              BRAD
                    I don't smoke-

                              CATELYN
                    Go with him Brad.

          She nudges Brad and he follows Daniel out of the room.

                              CATELYN
                    Dude (lowered voice) why did you
                    invite him? He pointed out that the
                    aliens weren't real.

                              SAM
                    (sigh)(pissed) Yeah, well your
                    boyfriend is an internet stalker.

                              CATELYN
                    We've already talked about this.
                    (she is frustrated, but visibly
                    less mad than Sam) You know he
                    isn't an internet terrorist
                    super-hacker or whatever just
                    because he hangs out on a certain
                    website.

                              SAM
                    I think you're just being naive.

                              CATELYN
                    What about Daniel? He works at Taco
                    Barn.

                              SAM
                    You're mad at me for judging Brad
                    and now you're saying Daniel is
                    dumb just because he doesn't like
                    your shitty little jokes. (long
                    pause) He's a lot better when he
                    opens up. He's just not comfortable
                    in this situation. Give him a
                    chance.

                              CATELYN
                    I will. Okay?

                              SAM
                    There's a difference between giving
                    someone a chance and being naive
                    about them.

                              CATELYN
                    I'll give Daniel a chance. Okay?

                              SAM
                    Look...You know how I feel. It's
                    about you. It's like you're
                    condoning the actions of the people
                    that almost ruined your life.

                              CATELYN
                    That's ridiculous. You've met him.
                    I don't even know what you're
                    talking about.

                              SAM
                    Well...Well, I'm not trying to
                    compare guys. I don't even know if
                    I like Daniel. Your attitude toward
                    him doesn't apply at all to your
                    situation with Brad.

                              CATELYN
                    (pause) I'm sorry we were messing
                    with him earlier.

                              SAM
                    Thanks. But it was really funny.

                              CATELYN
                    Poopy is infinite points.

                              SAM
                    Obviously. (pause) But please just
                    think about the type of people you
                    are dealing with and what they are
                    capable of.

                              CATELYN
                    They aren't all that type of
                    person... I know you're trying to
                    help, but you aren't being
                    reasonable.

                              SAM
                    Just...okay. You know (Brad and
                    Daniel enter) what I'm saying.

                              DANIEL
                    Yo ladies. Talking about me?

                              SAM
                    Just about how you're going to get
                    lung cancer from smoking.

                              DANIEL
                    Well it doesn't matter since you'll
                    be getting cancer from being bad at
                    Scrabble.

                              BRAD
                    Nice. (obviously trying to be nice
                    to Daniel)

                              SAM
                    Well I spelled a word that was
                    worth an arbitrarily large amount
                    of points, so I'm pretty sure it's
                    not humanly possible to be better
                    than me at Scrabble.

                              CATELYN
                    What if I were to travel back in
                    time and convince the creator of
                    Scrabble to reverse the scoring
                    system, like in golf. Then when I
                    traveled back, you would have the
                    worse score ever.

                              SAM
                    Damn...

                              DANIEL
                    Adam Sandler should make a movie
                    about that.

          Catelyn looks at Brad, wide-eyed, showing her obvious
          disdain of Adam Sandler. She mouths "Adam Sandler".

          INT. CATELYN'S HOUSE - DAY CHARACTERS: BRAD, CATELYN, DAD

          Brad enters Catelyn's house. She and her dad are cooking.

                              DAD
                    Hey, Brad. Have you had lunch? Cate
                    is making her famous meatloaf.

                              BRAD
                    Yeah, she wanted me to come try it.
                    So it's famous?

                              CATELYN
                    Yeah, I'd say it's fairly well
                    known. I mean, pretty much everyone
                    I know has heard of meatloaf.
                         (pause)

                              DAD
                    So are you going to Brad's after
                    this.

                              CATELYN
                    Yeah.

                              DAD
                    So what are you guys doing?

                              CATELYN
                    Well, first we'll play video games,
                    and I'll beat Brad every time. Then
                    when he wants to play the games
                    that he likes, I'll refuse. Then
                    I'll beat him at my games some
                    more. Then we'll go to Taco Barn
                    and make fun of people. Then we'll
                    go back to Brad's house, and then
                    Brad will lose at video games some
                    more. Then we'll go to Sonic, and
                    Brad will ask the woman on the
                    speaker if it's happy hour. She'll
                    say something pissy, and Brad will
                    laugh. He always thinks it's funny.

                              BRAD
                    It's always funny.

                              CATELYN
                    Yeah, it's funny because Brad
                    always thinks it's funny. Then
                    we'll get a milkshake, and Brad
                    will probably get mint, which is
                    super shitty. Then he'll drive me
                    back home, and I might give him a
                    kiss, unless he got a mint
                    milkshake, because they taste like
                    shit.

                              BRAD
                    I understand now. (sarcastically
                    wide-eyed)

                              CATELYN
                    Then I'll come inside and you'll be
                    watching something on Discovery
                    Channel about sharks or deep sea
                    fishing or something, and you'll
                    ask me if I had a good time. I'll
                    make up some stupid witty reply,
                    then I'll go upstairs and read for
                    like a million years because I have
                    300 pages left in this book and I
                    won't be able to stop. Then I'll
                    sleep in until noon because I don't
                    work tomorrow, and sissy will wake
                    me up screaming for me to make her
                    Easy Mac.

                              DAD
                    (to Brad) Do you really like her?
                    She's such a smartass.

                              BRAD
                    Oh, I don't really like her as a
                    person. I'm just dating her to
                    raise my progeny. She has great
                    health insurance and she has
                    amazing birthing hips.

                              DAD
                    Oh. Cate are you going to cry now?

                              CATELYN
                    I hate both of you. You're
                    distracting me from creating my
                    masterpiece.

                              BRAD
                    How do you make such great
                    meatloaf? What's the secret?

                              CATELYN
                    There is no secret. I'm fucking
                    magic dude.

                              BRAD
                    Wait what?

                              CATELYN
                    What?

                              BRAD
                    This whole time... (sarcastically
                    wide-eyed again)

                              CATELYN
                    What?

                              BRAD
                    ...(whisper) Are you a wizard?

          Dad chuckles a little, but clearly doesn't understand the
          magnitude of the joke. Catelyn, instead of reacting, drops
          her knife and grabs Brad's arm and drags him into the other
          room. She pushes him into a chair.

                              BRAD
                    What dude?

          Catelyn jumps on top of him.

                              CATELYN
                    I can't believe you said that in
                    front of my dad. I want to have sex
                    with you right now.

                              BRAD
                    THIS ISN'T APPROPRIATE CATELYN ANNE
                    WILSON.

                              CATELYN
                    Shut up I want to do you.

                              BRAD
                    Don't you have little siblings
                    running around here?

                              CATELYN
                    They're at the store with my mom.
                    Plus Trisha is like, even though
                    she's three, she hangs out at the
                    red light district at midnight and
                    sells herself to businessmen, and
                    Adam, yeah he's five, but he once
                    killed a man in Reno just to watch
                    him die.

                              BRAD
                    Well it's not appropriate for your
                    father. Wait, what about that stuff
                    you said in front of my mom?

                              CATELYN
                    That's different. Most of what I
                    said was premeditated, and plus
                    your mom's like...well I'm the
                    girlfriend so my dad is supposed to
                    be super intimidating. I can't
                    believe you said that. You've
                    changed so much since I met you,
                    it's like you're becoming a surreal
                    bodacious sex god.

                              BRAD
                    Surreal bodacious sex-god. You're
                    insane. It wasn't that funny dude-

                              DAD
                    (from other room) Cate, your
                    meatloaf is getting cold or
                    something.

                              BRAD
                    Do you really think I've changed or
                    whatever?

                              CATELYN
                    No, I was just trying to sex you up
                    and make you uncomfortable because
                    you're funnier than me.

                              BRAD
                    Well perhaps the student has
                    surpassed the master.

                              CATELYN
                    And the prodigal son returns.

                              BRAD
                    Yeah that too. (pause) God hurry up
                    and feed me I'm starving.

The End

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