ThreeMature

          INT. GAME AND FISH OFFICE CHARACTERS: BRAD, CATELYN,
          STEVEN

          Catelyn is at a desk staring at a computer screen. She looks
          more laid back and less eye-linered than the Youtube video.
          She looks very bored. Steven, a coworker, is standing on the other side of   the room. He is older than her, 25-28, and seems obviously gay.

Brad steps into view and sits in the
          seat in front of the desk. Catelyn glances up.

                              CATELYN
                    Hey! What can I do for you?

                              BRAD
                         (stutter)
                    I need a fishing license.

                              CATELYN
                         (leans forward and looks at
                         Brad's clothing)(Chewbacca
                         shirt, sandals, scraggly
                         beard, etc.)
                    Really?

                              BRAD
                    Well...
                         (nervous pause; Brad is
                         obviously thinking hard about
                         what to say)
                    All your fish are belong to us?

          She giggles for a second. Another awkward pause.

                              CATELYN
                    I didn't know fishermen used the
                    internet.

                              BRAD
                         (pause)
                    I don't really fish much.
                         (awkward pause)
                    Wait, I thought there were no girls
                    on the internet?

          Steven walks up to the desk and picks up a folder from it
          and starts reading it. He works at the office also.

                              CATELYN
                         (awkward pause)
                    Well, maybe I have a penis?

          Camera pans to Steven's face. He looks extremely puzzled.
          Brad and Catelyn ignore him.

                              BRAD
                         (pause)
                    That's hot.

                              CATELYN
                    So the other day

          (speaking more naturally now with less awkwardness)
                    some lady came up to the desk and I
                    was like "Can I help you?" and she
                    handed me these pamphlets. She
                    asked me if I was religious and the
                    pamphlets were all crazy Jesus
                    babble, you know?

                              BRAD
                    Yeah.

          Steven shakes his head and walks away.

                              CATELYN
                    And I was like "Hey lady, I'm
                    really not into the whole Christian
                    thing. I'm actually polytheistic. I
                    have two deities: one being Brad
                    Pitt from Fight Club and the other
                    being Zelda Ocarina of Time for the
                    Nintendo 64."

                              BRAD
                    OH MY GOD. Ocarina is like the
                    obvious best game ever. The other
                    day

          (slightly less awkward now, but still very embarrassed)
                    I was playing Call of Duty-

                              CATELYN
                    That game is terrible.

                              BRAD
                    Yeah, I was getting there. I was
                    playing Call of Duty and I realized
                    the game sucked. So I wanted to
                    play a real game, and I dug out my
                    N64 and played Ocarina like all
                    day. Then I raged and quit when I
                    got stuck in the water temple.

                              CATELYN
                    I HATE the water temple!

                              BRAD
                         (awkward pause returns)
                    So how do you like working here?
                    (returns to awkward)

                              CATELYN
                    Pretty terrible. I'm just working
                    for the summer. About to start at
                    UC Davis.

                              BRAD
                    Oh so you'll be a freshman? I'll be
                    a sophomore at Sac State next year.

                              CATELYN
                    Yeah I thought about going there.
                    I'm studying theater though and UC
                    Davis is better for that.

                              BRAD
                    Yeah, that's cool. My major is
                    actually in a perpetual state of
                    flux between Computer Science and
                    Undecided.

                              CATELYN
                    Exciting.

                              BRAD
                         (pause)
                    Yep.

                              CATELYN
                    So do you live here in Roseville?

                              BRAD
                    No, I'm actually from Jackson.

                              CATELYN
                         (pause)
                    So what are you doing here?

                              BRAD
                         (awkward pause)
                    I'm going to see my friend Jay. I
                    stopped in here to get a fishing
                    license. It's for an inside joke.

                              CATELYN
                    Cool. Yeah I guess I should get you
                    that license. Sorry, I'm easily
                    distracted.

                              BRAD
                    No dude, it's cool.

                              CATELYN
                    Yeah, I just ADHD randomly
                    sometimes. Sometimes my meds don't
                    work, ha.

                              BRAD
                    Well I've been clinically depressed
                    since I was fifteen. I take meds
                    for that, so no big deal dude.

                              CATELYN
                    Oh, well that's-

                              BRAD
                    Hey, I like you're shoes.

                              CATELYN
                    You noticed my shoes?

          She puts her feet up on the desk. Rainbow Nike's.

                              BRAD
                    Yeah. They're totally indie.

                              CATELYN
                    What does that even mean?

                              BRAD
                    I don't know. It's like...I guess
                    it means independent? But yeah,
                    they're like totally rainbow

                              CATELYN
                    I bought them in the mall, so
                    they're not that independent.

                              BRAD
                    Whatever, I like them.

          Catelyn puts her feet down. Camera shows her face, and she
          smiles and looks down awkwardly.

                              BRAD
                    Hey, so...I have something
                    important to tell you.

                              CATELYN
                    Oh really?

                              BRAD
                    I don't really...I don't really
                    want a fishing license.

                              CATELYN
                    Huh.

                              BRAD
                    I'm just here cause...uh...do you
                    want to go on a date with me?

          Catelyn stares. Her eyes are a little wide, but she isn't
          extremely shocked. She stares at him while she picks up her
          water bottle and takes a chug. She puts it down, with the
          same look on her face.

                              CATELYN
                    Okay

          OUT. PARKING LOT - DAY OR NIGHT?

          Music plays. Brad is sitting on a bench in front of the Game
          and Fish office. He keeps glancing toward the door, waiting
          for Catelyn. Camera spots Catelyn coming out of the doors.
          She stops, reads a message on her phone, and looks around.
          She spots Brad, and goes over to the bench and sits.

                              CATELYN
                    You know, there's something funny
                    about you.

                              BRAD
                         (nervous)
                    What?

                              CATELYN
                    I don't know. It's easy to talk to
                    you for some reason. It's weird.
                    You know internet jokes and stuff.

                              BRAD
                    What do you mean?

                              CATELYN
                    I expected you to ask me why I'm
                    not in the kitchen right now.

                              BRAD
                    Yeah, (awkward pause), I'm not
                    really a hardcore Anonymous guy or
                    whatever.

                              CATELYN
                    That's good. I've had some
                    trouble...well, I don't really like
                    them.

                              BRAD
                    I like your shoes.

                              CATELYN
                         (pause)
                    Yeah, you said that already.

                              BRAD
                    Yeah. They really stand out in a
                    place like this.

                              CATELYN
                    Yeah. (awkward laugh)

                              BRAD
                         (pause)(awkward laugh)

                              CATELYN
                    What?

                              BRAD
                    I just find it amusing that you
                    took as a compliment me saying that
                    your shoes stood out.

                              CATELYN
                    Was it a compliment?

                              BRAD
                         (pause)
                    I guess.

                              CATELYN
                         (very awkward pause)
                    That's cute. I wish people said
                    things like that.

                              BRAD
                    Hmm.

                              CATELYN
                    Well, (pause) when will I see you
                    again?

                              BRAD
                    I don't know. I'll have to call you
                    some time I guess.

                              CATELYN
                         (pause)
                    Well do you have instant messenger?
                    What's your email? Oh wait, here...

          Catelyn searches her purse and produces a Sharpie.
                    Here. Write it on my hand.

                              BRAD
                         (epically awkward pause)
                    Okay.

          Brad slowly and meticulously writes it. His face looks like
          he could spontaneously combust at any moment. Catelyn's hand
          is shaking slightly.

                              CATELYN
                         (swallows awkwardly)
                    Okay cool.

                              BRAD
                    Well I'll let you leave. Since you
                    just got off work.

                              CATELYN
                    Awesome. Well I'll talk to you
                    online?

                              BRAD
                    Yeah cool.

The End

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