INT. GAME AND FISH OFFICE CHARACTERS: BRAD, CATELYN,
Catelyn is at a desk staring at a computer screen. She looks
more laid back and less eye-linered than the Youtube video.
She looks very bored. Steven, a coworker, is standing on the other side of the room. He is older than her, 25-28, and seems obviously gay.
Brad steps into view and sits in the
seat in front of the desk. Catelyn glances up.
Hey! What can I do for you?
I need a fishing license.
(leans forward and looks at
shirt, sandals, scraggly
(nervous pause; Brad is
obviously thinking hard about
what to say)
All your fish are belong to us?
She giggles for a second. Another awkward pause.
I didn't know fishermen used the
I don't really fish much.
Wait, I thought there were no girls
on the internet?
Steven walks up to the desk and picks up a folder from it
and starts reading it. He works at the office also.
Well, maybe I have a penis?
Camera pans to Steven's face. He looks extremely puzzled.
Brad and Catelyn ignore him.
So the other day
(speaking more naturally now with less awkwardness)
some lady came up to the desk and I
was like "Can I help you?" and she
handed me these pamphlets. She
asked me if I was religious and the
pamphlets were all crazy Jesus
babble, you know?
Steven shakes his head and walks away.
And I was like "Hey lady, I'm
really not into the whole Christian
thing. I'm actually polytheistic. I
have two deities: one being Brad
Pitt from Fight Club and the other
being Zelda Ocarina of Time for the
OH MY GOD. Ocarina is like the
obvious best game ever. The other
(slightly less awkward now, but still very embarrassed)
I was playing Call of Duty-
That game is terrible.
Yeah, I was getting there. I was
playing Call of Duty and I realized
the game sucked. So I wanted to
play a real game, and I dug out my
N64 and played Ocarina like all
day. Then I raged and quit when I
got stuck in the water temple.
I HATE the water temple!
(awkward pause returns)
So how do you like working here?
(returns to awkward)
Pretty terrible. I'm just working
for the summer. About to start at
Oh so you'll be a freshman? I'll be
a sophomore at Sac State next year.
Yeah I thought about going there.
I'm studying theater though and UC
Davis is better for that.
Yeah, that's cool. My major is
actually in a perpetual state of
flux between Computer Science and
So do you live here in Roseville?
No, I'm actually from Jackson.
So what are you doing here?
I'm going to see my friend Jay. I
stopped in here to get a fishing
license. It's for an inside joke.
Cool. Yeah I guess I should get you
that license. Sorry, I'm easily
No dude, it's cool.
Yeah, I just ADHD randomly
sometimes. Sometimes my meds don't
Well I've been clinically depressed
since I was fifteen. I take meds
for that, so no big deal dude.
Oh, well that's-
Hey, I like you're shoes.
You noticed my shoes?
She puts her feet up on the desk. Rainbow Nike's.
Yeah. They're totally indie.
What does that even mean?
I don't know. It's like...I guess
it means independent? But yeah,
they're like totally rainbow
I bought them in the mall, so
they're not that independent.
Whatever, I like them.
Catelyn puts her feet down. Camera shows her face, and she
smiles and looks down awkwardly.
Hey, so...I have something
important to tell you.
I don't really...I don't really
want a fishing license.
I'm just here cause...uh...do you
want to go on a date with me?
Catelyn stares. Her eyes are a little wide, but she isn't
extremely shocked. She stares at him while she picks up her
water bottle and takes a chug. She puts it down, with the
same look on her face.
OUT. PARKING LOT - DAY OR NIGHT?
Music plays. Brad is sitting on a bench in front of the Game
and Fish office. He keeps glancing toward the door, waiting
for Catelyn. Camera spots Catelyn coming out of the doors.
She stops, reads a message on her phone, and looks around.
She spots Brad, and goes over to the bench and sits.
You know, there's something funny
I don't know. It's easy to talk to
you for some reason. It's weird.
You know internet jokes and stuff.
What do you mean?
I expected you to ask me why I'm
not in the kitchen right now.
Yeah, (awkward pause), I'm not
really a hardcore Anonymous guy or
That's good. I've had some
trouble...well, I don't really like
I like your shoes.
Yeah, you said that already.
Yeah. They really stand out in a
place like this.
Yeah. (awkward laugh)
I just find it amusing that you
took as a compliment me saying that
your shoes stood out.
Was it a compliment?
(very awkward pause)
That's cute. I wish people said
things like that.
Well, (pause) when will I see you
I don't know. I'll have to call you
some time I guess.
Well do you have instant messenger?
What's your email? Oh wait, here...
Catelyn searches her purse and produces a Sharpie.
Here. Write it on my hand.
(epically awkward pause)
Brad slowly and meticulously writes it. His face looks like
he could spontaneously combust at any moment. Catelyn's hand
is shaking slightly.
Well I'll let you leave. Since you
just got off work.
Awesome. Well I'll talk to you