Pho's ears perked as he heard Ania's voice through the music. His body wearily dragged itself from his bed and to his door. His glinting eyes stared down the well lit hallway as he listened.
"Mhmm. I know. But it looks like his and I refuse to look like. . .Pho," Her voice was filled with venom and disgust ", anymore." Everything that he had held onto; the hope of Ania's acceptance and love was gone, shattered. He watched her nod to Cira and leave the room, heading for the bathroom. Hair dye and tanning lotion were clasped tightly in her hands, her expression cold and unchanging.
Pho turned away from the crack in his door, his fingers digging tightly into his scalp.Voices began screaming into his skull, flashes of memories violently thundering in his skull as though his mind was short circuiting.
She loved me...Sweet Ania...SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU....SHE NEVER LOVED YOU....but no...She was always there...we were two parts of one....twins....WAKE UP, SHE HATES YOU NOW! SHE NEVER WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU OR NEAR YOU!...no...no...Ania...Pho cried and dug his nails into his skull, his hair knotting around his fingers.
"No, no, no, no. Ania....Ania," He rolled into a ball and kept his eyes tightly shut. She had changed, become something...someone different, she wasn't the Ania he had known since birth. A whine escaped his lips as he finally stood and moved to his dresser. An utter sense of hopelessness had clutched his heart, it was an emptiness he couldn't get rid of.
Well if Ania hated him, if she never wanted to be like him or near him then fine. He could do that for her, give her one last piece of his broken heart. LEAVE...the louder voice shouted, stay...you'll find another...do not lose hope....ESCAPE, SHE HATES YOU REMEMBER? Pho growled and grabbed his back pack, tossing extra clothes and other objects in it.
When he was satisfied, Pho moved to his two blue journals; one ravaged by time the other just starting to have wrinkles from constant handling and writing. He picked up a pen and opened his latest journal to an empty page. Furiously his hand scribbled the words...
~Cira, Damien, Mom, Dad... and Dearest Ania
I have learned in these latest weeks that everything I knew was a lie. That every time I loved someone it was just a false feeling handed back to me. I have seen the looks in all your eyes. The fear, the hate, the disgust, and distrust. It pains me to see those looks from you cast upon me. How I am like a three legged dog that everyone feels for but no one wants to pet. I do not believe I shall ever find my true place but my soul still hopes. I also know that Ania to regrets ever being twins with me, that she was her own self and not attached to some horrific mirror image. It is with this that I am saying my good bye. Ania, I hope you find another more willing to love you eternally than I. Damien take care of Cira for me, and Cira watch out for Ania. Mom and Dad...I'm just sorry.
Lost forever in the Dark,
With that written, Pho left his room light on and opened his window. A soft breath of air ruffled his hair and tickled his skin. Tears coursed from his face as the internal struggle continued and Pho jumped from his second story bedroom. The large bushes below comforting his fall. Standing, he began walking away into the forest behind their house.
After a few moments, Pho looked back, the glimmer of the house like a warm beacon. His eyes could just pick out two figures walking away from the house. Have fun with the rest of your life Ania...He choked back a cry and turned, continuing his trek into the black abyss of the forest.