Rules for the break up (or mental breakdown)


I know for a fact many of the girls in my year would pay a lot of money for my boyfriend. How? We had a auction to see who would get him once our relationship went sour. Of course, we were the hot couple, so the usual rules did not apply.

We were very keen on democracy at our school. We believed it was fair if we were all honest with each other, so there was limited bullying at our school. All girls got along, and if the rues were broken, a price would be arranged for the particular crime. And adults say the youth of today are hopeless!

The rules were as followed:

1. When the boy in question was single, every girl had the right to try and ‘get him', if you excuse the phrasing. Except if there is been a bet taking place. No fee for if rule is broken, because if one girl lets the other have him, it's actually nicer that way.

2. If a girl was ever seeing a boy, they would immediately tell the council who it was with. Price if broken depends on how long it is kept secret, but is usually £5.

3. There is a biding session held after every relationship is reviled. The person who bets the most receives a month guarantee that she has him to herself, once the relationship went sour, without other girls flirting with him.

4. If the girl ‘gets' him, she gives the price to the council, who distributes it around the year, or years if the boy is from a different year. The fine for not paying up is double the amount they betted, and having to dump the boy she betted for.

5. Once the month is up, the girl still has the opportunity to get him, but has to compete with the other girls as well.

6. If the boy has a particular interest in one of the girls, showing no interest in the winner of the auction, they have to step aside for the girls who the boy wants. Fee is £10.    

7. All files of the bets, auctions and previous events are in a file marked ‘French Folder' in 11B's classroom, but can only be viewed by the council. You need special permission from the council if you want to see it.

8. All auctions are arranged the day after a relationship is revealed. It usually happens a few days after the revelation, the calendar being behind the mirror in the year 11 cloakroom.

9. All rules, events and auctions are to be kept secret from the boys. Nobody ever has broken this rule, for the fee is £50.

11. An auction that has been around for a year without anything happening is discarder, and only replaced if the long-lasting relationship breaks down.

Seeing as Luke was your regular gorgeous, kind, clever, funny and charming guy, the price for him was set at £79.99. Even Dally had removed her head from the clouds to watch the auction, which showed she took an interest.

Of course, it was not expected to sell for that price. Luke completely adored me, which I always found weird. We seemed perfect, the class genius but cool kid with the schools destined Oxbridge student hotty. The perfect match, it was even rumoured he had secretly liked me from year 7. When I asked him why he liked me, He said I was so full of life. He said my eyes held the secrets to the universe. He was always spouting crap like that. I could never believe he liked me.

Call it low self esteem.




The End

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