In the Shape of a ManMature

Andre Lauren looks back on an with new eyes after a life time of self indulgence is shattered by one event. A ripple is created that flows through those effected.




I was once asked during an interview ‘If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now?’ Taking my job it was not a strange question and I answered as honestly as I could at the time, I said I would ‘learn to love myself more’.

Loving myself was never my problem I see this now. I searched every corner, every sleazy bar, every internet chat room, I picked up in coffee houses across the country, and maxed out an AMEX in hotel charges without a blink of my deep blue eyes. I have found a lot of duds and my own share of great lovers. I have learned from the best yet never really found true love. I don't know if I was looking. If I were asked that question today knowing my fault, how would I answer this question? How could I?

My name is Andre Lauren, I am twenty-three years old, and I live alone in a two-bedroom townhouse purchased by my parents and furnished with favors. I was interviewed repeatedly for the extensive work I did in my youth related to HIV research and education I always saw myself as an intelligent man who gave up a lot to charity; for the past four years I have work as a sexual health counselor allotting my time equally between the three youth clinics in the greater metropolitan area, a real Brother Teresa. In all my years I never assumed I would be in a situation where I was frightened by death.  

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