"No, you really are. I've got all your vitals right here," he says calmly.

"What? You've --- would you mind turning these lights off? --- you've got my vitals? How?" You're still sheltering your eyes from the lights, but they seem to be permeating your meek barrier from every direction.

"Turn them off? I turned them on for your own comfort," he states, sounding surprised and perhaps almost offended you don't like them. "You're somewhat cold-blooded now, you know."

You notice now that the warmth is actually pretty comfortable, but that doesn't change the fact that it's really bothering your eyes. But he goes on talking, so you keep it to yourself for now.

"If it really bothers you, though, I could turn them off. Or you could try to find a pair of sunglasses around here somewhere."

You try looking around now that your eyes have adjusted and don't see any sunglasses just lying around. No big surprise there; this is a laboratory, not an accessory shop.

"And as for your vitals, I have them all the time. It's a part of the experiment. I'm monitoring how your body takes the changes. There is a chip implanted in you that constantly updates me on your status. I'd imagine I knew you were drunk before you did."

You had been rummaging around, looking for sunglasses you knew you wouldn't find, while he was saying this, but you paused when he finished his spiel.

"Wait, you've got a chip in me? We're supposed to be through!" you say indignantly, picking up a welders mask. It should do for now.

"Well I wouldn't want you dying or anything. The risk of death is pretty high, after all," he says matter-of-factly

"There's a risk of dying?! You didn't tell me that before!"

"Well you wouldn't have done it if I had."

"You're damn right I wouldn't! That's the point! I probably wouldn't have done it if I knew you were going to give me a bloody iguana tail either!"

"There's no need to be upset."

"I'm not upset! I'm angry!"

"Well that won't get you anywhere."

"Neither will an iguana tail!"

That seemed to have shut him up for now. He was always very touchy about his experiments, and would often whine to you about the bad things people had said about them back when the relationship between the two of you was a little less platonic and a lot less angry.

This gave you some time to think about your options.

RATE THIS BRANCH!