Sleep did not come quickly for Desiree that night.
What was she expecting when she went there? Why did she think that Aaron had the answer she needed. The only thing he was really able to give her was the tea - and apparently, her freedom. She hadn't gone there asking for his permission to stay on the continent. She wanted answers.
Many people who went to the continent did not choose to return, which is why not many people left. What compelled them to stay on the continent? What had they learned? Was it something too horrible, or too wonderful, to imagine?
Desiree could not even dream of such a kind of life-changing knowledge. She could only wish that when she found it, she would find it quickly so that she could go back to living her life.
But, of all the questions in her mind, one stuck out the most: why had Aaron made a promise to keep such information to himself? It was his job to help the new generations prepare for independent life. Did that not involve telling them what awaited them if they chose to leave?
When she came of age, she had gone into life knowing exactly what to expect, and she had used that to her advantage. Going to the continent, she had nothing. Yet why was she choosing to go, leaving behind everything she had ever known?
She didn't understand herself. She didn't understand Aaron. She didn't understand Nahum.
For the first time, she understood nothing.
Yet one thing was clear in her mind: she was still going to get on that boat tomorrow morning.