i'm afraid i was wrong. i'm so scared that i did bad, that i screwed up. i'm so terrified of failing, i wont even try.
i'm frightened of the voices, of the dark. i'm scared that if i break these chains, if i cut the rope, i'll be out of my depth. what if i cant manage life outside these walls, what if i cant breathe without the rules?
what if i need this terror to keep me in line? what if i get out and kill more? when i escape, if i escape, what happens when they find me again. it'll be worse.
and what happens when i lose myself?