absurdum murdursadminMature

another strange day at the office - a day, it seems, without end

a pale morning

the air is still and crisp, cold on my face

put my bags in the passenger seat from the passenger-side door — my lunch, my laptop and my media case

even in this cold i know i'll feel more comfortable without the limitations of my jacket

i take it off and put it on the passenger-side floor

grab my coffee mug off of the roof and walk around to the drivers-side door 

i get in, put my mug on up under the windshield just under the rearview mirror and pull my seatbelt over while simultaneously starting up the car

the windshield wipers are still on from last night and the radio is too loud for this time of day, at least for right now

i turn it down just a little bit — its probably a little too low right now, but that's okay

pull my left leg and foot inside and slamshut the door closed and grab my coffee off of the dashboard to start my commute to the office

its Monday morning

i turn right out of the driveway and put my coffeemug into the drink holder 

almost on the highway now

i pull out my smartphone and sign into my work email and calendar

Monday's tend to get filled up with all sorts of bullshit meetings

as i look over the calendar a bit the rest of the world just melts away and i drive as if by peripheral-vision magic

even without my jacket on, i'm feeling a bit warm

instead of turning down the heat i nudge the front windows open just a crack in this kind of back and forth flick of each electronic window control

the cool air coming in the window feels nice on my neck and forehead

tiny drips of perspiration on my forehead now seem to slip away and soak back into my skin

a delicious, frosty feel

suddenly my left testicle feels painfully hollow — i really don't know how to explain it any other way

i laugh for a second at what the morning radio djs banter on and on about and then scan the radio up to the next station, secretly hoping for something new, some really cool new music instead of the typical horseshit they sling at this time of day — and you can tell its supposed to be really clever humor, hilarious banter that you'd never hear anywhere else, but its all pretty hackneyed, we've heard this all before and its uninteresting, valueless and disappointing

i mean, i guess they got me to laugh earlier on, so there's that at least, right?

the next station up is the fucking news

i turn the radio off and now its back to my smartphone

where's my coffee?

the mug is warm in my right hand as i pick it up for a sip

warm, creamy, even a little oily on top

the mix of cool air coming in from the highway and the heat of the coffee lustily rising up over my lips, up toward my nose and splitting across my cheekbones — i tune into this for a few seconds and then look left out my window at the woman driving her car in the third lane

she quickly turns her head toward the road in front of her again, i can tell she'd been looking at me in some way, for some amount of time

nobody seems to pay attention anymore — at least not to where they're going

i feel a little exhilaration — just the idea that maybe she's somehow admired me, my physical appearance, maybe she was thinking of me in a sexual way

there's thrill to it, my hearts beating faster and a bit off-kilter as she zips passed me stealing these speculative thoughts, these mysteries back into her lane, back into her world, only she'll know now if she was interested in a sexual way, if i made her wet without even the mildest sense of awareness beyond the presence of a cross-lane stare

of course, i can dream up any erotic scenario i want at this point

i can fill in where reality left off

but i gotta get to work

The End

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