A nameless girl struggles to find hope in this dark world.
She sat for a long time; staring up at the sky. A pen rested in her hand and her journal was balanced on her left leg. She sighed and as she leant against the shady, old tree she closed her eyes. She was sad. She felt like her entire world was collapsing on her and she looked up; trying to find hope.
And she stared at the sky. She stared at the sky until her eyes were sore. She was so jealous of the cloudless sky. The sun had nothing to stop it from shining through today. Her mind was full of clouds. It clouded her vision, her judgement, her perception, her words, her actions. It clouded her entire life and it seemed to be taking over.
She could smell the fresh, clean air. She could smell the hint of animals coming from the farms close by. She could smell the grass. She could even smell the flowers that were on the other side of the field. She could feel the sun hitting her bare shoulders through the gaps in the tree and it felt good. It felt like that was the only thing that was warming her up.
She closed her eyes again and ran a hand through her hair. Her hands shook as it reached the end. She felt her body shudder as she thought of what would happen the next day; when she had to go back to school and face everyone again.
She thought of her friends. The ones that secretly hated her but knew of her secret and so were too sympathetic to tell her that she couldn’t sit with them. She swore too much, too. She had heard that before. But she didn’t want to let anyone get to her and swearing scared people. She would much rather have people fear her than have people know every inch of her dark head.
She clicked the pen and snapped shut the journal before putting it back into her bag. She stood up slowly and pulled the bag onto her back. She took one last look, lingering on the scents of freedom before leaving the abandoned field.
She would be back tomorrow. She would try to express her feelings with pen and paper tomorrow. She would try and make it till tomorrow.