Take the offer and stay to watch from behind the scenes

Of course, you leap at the opportunity to see what conditions a still partly-inebriated man in sparkly tights works in. Needless to say, it was an interesting atmosphere- cockatoos in fedoras, midgets in glittery latex, fat midgets in glittery fedoras (oh wait, that's Ernest), and either a grizzy bear painted to look like a panda or an obese actor who was attacked while wearing a panda suit.

But when an apparently starving seal decided to gnaw curiously at your foot, you tearfully retreat in the corner. And of course, contentedly take occasional pictures with your camera for future lawsuit purposes. Hey, this is America! Plus, Freddy the Fedora-Wearing Cacatuidae seemed to be dire need of Pepto Bismol.

All the sudden, you're bumped viciously backwards. You propel your arms as furiously as a penguin thrown from a skyscraper, but of course- that only works in Jackie Chan movies.

"Hey!" You start to say, but stop when you notice how good looking your offender was. "Oh..heyyyyy.....;-)"

"Gimme that." She hissed, grabbing your precious $200 (plus rebate) camera from your hands.

"That's mine!" You protest. Then you realize you''ve seen her uber-chic features somewhere else. "Aren't you Ernest's way-too-hot girlfriend? Dominque?"

"Whatever." She retorts, tossing her hair behind her. You blandly wonder whether she works for a Pantene commerical. "I need this. You can come with me if you want, I guess."


The End

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