if I could speak "Dog", it would be all woof

and yip and yap and yap

and the occasional time I'd ruff

while on somebody's lap

-

But if  I could speak up as a dog

my life would be quite rich

I'd leave my owner quite agogue

I'd say, "Who you calling b-tch?"

-

I'd pee on everything, even feet,

call myself a pee tyrant

I'd tell the seniors down the street

to stay clear of fire hydrants

-

The comely lass with the shapely ass

I'd plead and beg and beg

please just give me just one more pass

to hump that lovely leg

-

The postman, he steers clear of me

because of the bite marks on his finger

I'd yell across the road to he

"Hey, you dirty minger!"

-

There'd be lengthy dialogues

on matters diverse and deep

between a master and his dog

"euthanasia: should dogs be put to sleep?"

-

They'd have me on all the TV shows

while others jumped through hoops

I'd discuss the highs and lows

of rolling in one's poop!

RATE THIS BRANCH!