There’s no such thing as fairies

But I met a pixie

North of Dixie

And he offered me a rose.

I put it to my nose

And there it grows,

The petals falling on my toes,

Making them pink and smelly

And rather jelly.

There’s no such thing as wizards

But I met a witch

In the ditch,

And she offered me a frog

To feed my dog

Lost in the fog,

We’re all turning cog by cog

Until we all need oiling

And you’re recoiling.

There’s no such thing as monsters

But I met an ogre

From Saratoga

And he offered me a cat

It’s round and fat.

I quite liked that,

And now it’s living in my flat.

And eating all my fish

How very swish.

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