But I didn’t die, Jeremy saw to that. Every time I was about to drift away, he would bring me back to the present. We stood there, locked in an embrace for hours, while the rain pounded down from the sky. At one point Spenser and Cai came out to see how I was doing, but Jeremy didn’t talk to them or answer any of their questions, so after a while they both went back inside, holding hands.
The night of February the twenty-eighth was both the longest and the shortest night of my life. By the time the nightmare was over, the sun was beginning to rise over the tops of the buildings. Normally this would have made me panic, but I was just glad to be alive. I could still barely walk, and I was vomiting all over the place, so Jeremy walked me home, even though he knew that it might get him in trouble. Luckily for me, it was a weekend and my parents wouldn’t be up for several hours.
When I got home, the first thing I did was take a boiling hot shower. I then spent the rest of the day throwing up in the bathroom. Yes, it was hell, but I was alive and I had kept my promise to Jeremy, even thought he had done most of the work. But after a while, darker thoughts hit me.
I had gotten lucky this time, but what about the next time that something like this happens? Jeremy might not be there to save my sorry ass. What bothered me even more was the fact that if I did die, I would have lied right to Jeremy’s face, and my pride would not allow that. I knew what I had to do: I had to quit.
If I had done that in the first place, none of this would have happened, but I don’t think I would have even tried to quit if I hadn’t overdosed. It was a paradox, to be sure, but in the end, it was well worth the trouble of thinking out, because at least I felt like I was accomplishing something while throwing up endlessly.
By noon the nausea had subsided enough for me to eat. I still felt ill and exhausted, but I was really hungry and nothing could keep me from food at that point. My parents were worried, but after I assured them that I had just eaten some leftovers for breakfast that had apparently started to go bad, they stopped fussing over me and went to clean out the refrigerator to prevent any further mishaps.
Around two, I texted Jeremy to assure him that I was okay (he had sent several frantic messages around eight in the morning, but I didn’t respond to them because looking at the screen of my phone made me feel even more ill) I also asked if he could tell James that I was taking the night off. This being done, I laid down in bed and fell asleep.