Lars

MacDoozle didn't know where to go from there.  This was a frustrating start for the rookie.  The acadamey had been both spelt wrong and misleading.  Various slideshows of naked prostitutes, coffee and pocketed money had given him a completely different promise of the future.  He had hoped to at least roughed somebody up by now.

Then, a lead?  A burly man squeezed his frame past the crowd and pushed his mammoth self in front.

"You must be the new cop"  The voice sounded like gravel under sandalled feet.

MacDoozle surveyed the man in front of him and made mental notes.  The man was dressed in coveralls as wide as a garage door and his black unkept beard was smattered in what looked like pieces of scrambled egg.  The smears on his denim,  MacDoozle interpreted were likely the source of the heavy reek of manure that ensconced the beast.

"I'm Lars.  I live down the road from you.  You're my new neighbour"

"Well, hello, Lars."  MacDoozle was hopeful, "Did you see what happenned here today?"

"Hell, no, I just saw the police car here and reckoned it was you"

"Oh.  Can I do something for you?"

"Hells, yeah.  Constable, I just dropped by to let you know I'm having a party tonight at my place and maybe you should drop by"

MacDoozle wondered if maybe he should be continuing with the investigation but welcomed the prospect of meeting new people in this strange town.

"Why, I'd be glad to."

"Well, Constable", Lars stopped to clear his throat and spat a bright yellow wad of grease on the tiled floor, "I gotta warn ya, there's bound to be lots of drinking!"

"Hey, Lars, I'll be off duty, and after today I'll be due for a few drinks"

"All right", growled the big farmer,"and you gotta expect when people drink, there's bound to be a lot of good fightin'"

"Lars, I'm trained to deal with all sorts of physical..."

"Yeah, well, Chief, and I reckon there's gonna be whole lotta dirty sex"

MacDoozle's eyes widenned like stoplights.

"Lars, I'm in!  Tell me, what should I wear?"

Lars looked MacDoozle from head to toe before responding.

"Hell, Constable, wear whatever the hell you want, it's just going to be the two of us!" 

With that he slapped MacDoozle on the back hard enough to send him strutting two steps forward, and turning around, winked, and made his way out of the bank.

MacDoozle wondered what kind of joke his life had become.

The End

103 comments about this story Feed