I don't really know why I am writing this or anything, but there's something making me do this, I don't understand it, but I just know that there's a reason. After all, there is a reason for everything, whether you hide from that reason or it runs and hides from you, it's always going to be there.
I know people always say that they love the thought that someone else in the world must be doing the same thing as you and thinking the same, and that that one person you are thinking of may be thinking of you too. I love it though, it just makes everything and anything possible. To be who you want and not want others want you to be. "It's up to you" is what they say, but it isn't always, is it? I mean everyone has dreams no matter how big or small, they're still dreams and worth giving it a shot, but there are always dreams that are locked up away from the outside world, that are never mention or spoken of. I know that I have that dream, whether anyone else does, I don't know.
It just makes me feel so small and that I'm like one of the stars up in the sky, just a small dot from down here, but massive when you get there. It's my way of comparing my dreams and thoughts.
The thing that gets me the most though is that no matter what you're given, you're never happy with what you've got. Maybe, that's the way everything is meant to be, just like when you've settled nothing changes. Again, that's not true. Why can't life be the truth and why can't I live the truth? I just can't, and even more important why can't people just tell your the truth and save you all the stuff they put you through and all the covering up they do after one lie is told.
But after one lie is told, it turns into more and more and they just can't stop, constantly carrying them all. It's worse though when you find out they have and still are lying to you, but they haven't realized that you know. And you just sit there listening to them droning on thinking 'lies, lies, lies and even more lies', over and over in your head. It not only gets me hurt, but that person too which is stupid because they started it all.
I guess in the end there is not set path for you like I used to believe, but after being hurt and doing things wrong so many times, I've learnt that. You just have to live your life the way you want to, and not regret it. And most of all realize what's right in front of your eyes, and that those people that can't talk to you and help you when you really need it often can't stand seeing you like that, and have given up. Given up after helping once and even after all that they end up in the same position all over again. It may hurt inside, but if you know it's right, then you have to go with it.
After life is gone, although there are different beliefs about what happens after death, IF none of those are true and all you are left to do is to think then wouldn't you rather think how you tried to achieve your dreams and lived your life to it's full. I don't mean to use cliches, but sometimes it's the best and simplest way to understanding...