The air felt more relaxed, clearer now. I’d expected for the confrontation to bubble up and explode like a volcanic eruption. And it had but before I’d known, things had cooled down again and all Jensen and I were doing right now was looking at each other with smiles on our faces. I’d gotten it all wrong these years.
“We should probably go back to the others,” Jensen said, breaking the silence. I nodded and we both stepped into a similar pace, making our way towards the bonfire the guys had set up. It struck me slightly funny, how a moment ago we’d been fighting and now we were just…back to normal. The kind of normal we’d been years ago. Was it even humanly possible for things to be like that?
I snuck a glance at Jensen and noticed him looking at me too. My face heated up. The same way it always had years ago. What was happening?
I cleared my throat in an attempt to cover up the growing awkwardness in my heart, and said, “I’m not impressed with you at all though.”
“What do you mean?” Jensen asked, shooting me a curious look.
“You call yourself a Psychology student, but it took you ages to crack this case,” I teased. Jensen didn’t say anything though, and it was only after a few seconds of silence did I turn around and realize that he’d stopped walking. “I…didn’t mean to offend you. I was only joking,” I said quickly upon seeing the expression on his face but he shook his head in response.
“No, you’re right,” he replied, then frowned, looking away. “Even though it was almost impossible to approach you, I should have found another way to resolve this instead of wasting all these years.”
His hands were balled up into fists by his side again, and I made a mental reminder to kick myself in the butt later for being an idiot and making an insensitive joke like that.
“Jensen, you were right before. I was being selfish and it’s mainly my fault for all this mess but now that it’s gotten sorted, we shouldn’t worry about it anymore.”
His eyes met mine, acknowledging what I said, and the moments that followed were held by a silence in which he was weighing me up. I felt like I was under examination, like a lab rat in inspection after having undertaken some freaky experiment. The way Jensen was looking at me now would be the same way the scientist would have examined the rat; it made me uncomfortable. Was this his Psychology-student-mode?