I drummed my fingers nervously on the surface of the desk as I stared at Jensen’s Facebook page. It would be a huge underestimation to say he was beyond all the hotness that mankind could bear in his display picture. Counting the number of likes he’d gotten, and the multitude of girl-friends he had, anyone would classify him as a heartthrob.
My cursor lingered over a particular button as questions swirled around in my mind. Should I really add him as friend? We had over fifty mutual friends, as a result of having gone to the same middle school…it would be weird if I, of all people, was left out. But why should I even give a care in the world about that? Jensen Sterling, after all, was and always shall be an enemy for life.
“What are you doing?”
I jumped on my seat, my heart skipping a few hundred beats. I whirled around, glaring at Lea who stood just a few feet behind me with her arms crossed over her chest. Eyebrow arched, she gave me a skeptical look and waited for me to say something but all that came out was a bunch of curses that were far too inappropriate.
“Don’t do that,” I muttered. “You took me by surprise there.”
“You haven’t answered my question yet.” Lea came closer to me and peered at the computer screen. Normally, her reaction would have been to throw her head back and laugh and pressure me into admitting that I had a deep, and secret love for Jensen.
She didn’t do that though. Ever since I’d told her the full story, Lea had backed off and had left the topic alone. Upon seeing the page I had open, Lea simply shot me a look of concern.
“You’re still feeling all guilt-ridden about yesterday.”
I sighed and nodded, slouching back on the chair. “I can’t seem to get the possibility that he heard us out of my head.”
“Why do you even care Rox? After what he did to you, I thought you hated him with the whole of your heart but if you’re feeling guilty, that means…” She didn’t finish off the sentence but I knew what she’d wanted to say. If I had the capacity to feel anything but negativity towards Jensen, then maybe I did like him. Shaking my head, I stood up and started pacing the length of the room – a habit of mine when I wanted to come to a conclusion.
“I think the best thing for me to do is confront him.”
“You suck at confrontations,” Lea pointed out, a smile on her lips. “And let’s face it, he’s the last person you want to confront.”
“Okay. Fine,” I snapped, irritated. “Maybe I’ll just give him a friendly reminder that I do not want any sort of a relationship with him, that I still dislike him.”
Lea sighed. “He already knows you’d rather see him cast into the depths of Tartarus than at the reunion with you. You’d just be rubbing salt over the wound.”
“Then what do you recommend I do?”
Lea winced at my tone. Tugging at one of her red curls, she spoke tentatively. “Why not a peace offering?”
“Come on Roxanne! Don’t you think things would be better if you two just went back to normal? You were great friends years ago so why not just make-up?”
“I don’t want to make up with him just so I could have a date to the reunion, Lea. I’m not that desperate,” I said in a huff.
She took a step forward and rested her hand on my shoulder. Squeezing it lightly, Lea’s green eyes met my confused ones as she smiled reassuringly. “This isn’t about the reunion anymore. It’s much bigger than that.” Dropping her hands back to her side, she walked out of the room but paused at the doorway, turning to look at me one last time. “You decide what you want to do Roxanne, but you can’t beat yourself up when you didn’t do anything wrong.”