I Need YouMature

Chapter One

[~ I'm sitting here, waiting on you ~]

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
The Guvernment (Night club)

It was twelve o’clock. My brothers and I had been at the venue for about twenty minutes and were now getting ready to go up the line to meet those fans we knew had been waiting six hours or more already just to see us perform tonight. We exited the venue through the back door and I was surprised when I saw how short the line was. I figured though, that the short notice and lack of advertising was to blame. The line had just rounded the corner onto the sidewalk of the main street.

We started up, receiving many excited hugs, I love yous, and taking part in the usual autograph signing and picture fiasco. I wiped the sweat from my forehead with my arm – which was sweaty enough as it was –, cursing the heat and beginning to regret deciding to wear black. The last time we were in Toronto, it was the beginning of November and everyone was craving the heat, especially the fans who had slept out overnight. Now, everyone was craving the cold. It’s funny how in the winter we all beg for the warmth, while in the summer we beg for the cold. Me, personally, love fall and winter. Maybe it’s the colour of the leaves or the picturesque white snow atop roofs and trees. Of course, I’m probably the only one in my family who likes that time of year…

We continued up the line, eventually getting to the fans at the front. Four young ladies and a one guy stood, waiting for us to come around. Two digital cameras and one camcorder greeted us as we started to shake hands.

"Hey guys," Taylor greeted them. "How long have you been waiting?"

"Since 10:30 yesterday morning," one of the girls, brunette, hazel-eyed, replied. In her hands, a camcorder recorded all the action.

"Wow," I said, shaking the hand of a young brunette with strikingly blue eyes behind a pair of small rectangular silver half-framed, blue armed glasses. The arms were almost the same colour as her eyes. "You guys are loyal."

"You could say that," the blue-eyed girl replied with a blush.

"We just love you guys and your music that much," a slightly older green-eyed brunette said, shaking Taylor’s hand.

"Aw, thank you," Zac replied.

"It’s true," the hazel-eyed girl said.

I shook the guy’s hand, but my eyes kept returning to the blue-eyed brunette, whose eyes were now on Taylor.

"Taylor," she addressed, "how’re Natalie and the kids?"

An appreciative smile spread onto Taylor’s face. "They’re great; thanks for asking."

She smiled then turned to Zac. "And Zac, how’s Kate?"

It was Zac’s turn to give her a smile of appreciation. "She’s good, thank you."

"Good. And the rest of the family?"

"Jen…" a fourth brunette, this one with brown eyes, started.

"I want to know." And this Jen looked pretty sincere.

"It’s okay," Zac answered. "And they’re good too."

"Good." Her eyes then locked on mine. She smiled, but her eyes were narrowed in concern. "How are you, Ike?"

I smiled, attempting to hide the way I was and had been feeling for several weeks now. "I’m okay."

She didn’t look convinced. "Really, Ike." Those eyes of hers – which I noticed were accented with grey flecks and a dark blue rim around the outside and incredibly beautiful – held nothing but honesty. She really did want to know how I was and it almost seemed like she needed to hear the truth. The only thing was, I hadn’t really opened up to anyone about how I’d been since the divorce one month ago – not even Taylor and Zac and they were my brothers. But they hadn’t exactly asked how I’d been doing either, both figuring I needed my space, which I so often do. Despite that, they’d been supportive, neither one taking a side, which had helped me tremendously. But, this girl – who I figured couldn’t have been any older than nineteen or twenty – was the first person in a long time to ask me how I was and be completely serious about it, outside of my family. Maybe it would do me some good to talk about it with someone who I knew didn’t know my complete life history. And I wasn’t in a huge rush…

I looked at her. Her eyes still maintained the concern they did when she first asked the question.

I motioned towards the parking lot with my head. "C’mere."

Slowly, she manoeuvred her way around the chairs, bags and her shocked friends, and came around the barrier set up by the employees of the club to mark the line. I led her to the opposite end of the parking lot. I turned to face her and a camera flash came from over her shoulder. A couple of fans were standing within earshot, snapping pictures.

"Shit," I sighed. Couldn’t they leave me alone for just a few minutes? I turned back to Jen. "Let’s go inside the club."

By the annoyed look on her face, she’d seen the girls too. "Yeah."

I touched her shoulder to I lead her to the doors and saw a gentle blush rise to her cheeks. The club employees let us in and I heaved a long sigh of relief. We were standing in the hallway leading from the door to the outside into the venue itself.

"They don’t know when to leave you guys alone," she said. She sounded royally not amused.

I smiled. "Most do, but it’s just those couple that make it seem like they don’t."

She nodded. "I understand." And those eyes held nothing but honesty. She smiled. "When I first became a fan I probably would’ve done the same thing."

Though not sure why, I had to smile at that. Maybe it was because she was being as honest as she was. "We’ve all probably been through that phase."

We were quiet for a few brief moments and I used that time to study her. She was your average girl, a little plain and on the heavy side, but I could not deny that I found her pretty. Maybe it was a mixture of her eyes and the way she carried herself. She had this underlying happiness and I had the feeling she was someone who always had a smile on their face. Despite the nervousness I knew she had to be feeling, she was standing here in front of me almost as calm as anything.

I cleared my throat softly, cutting the silence between us. "So, how long have you been a fan?" Yes I was stalling, but I wasn’t sure how to initiate the conversation, believe it or not. Normally I knew just the right line to start with, but this young woman had me at a loss for words and wondering if that was good or bad.

"Since This Time Around," she answered, "but we’re not here to talk about me."

I blinked. That was not the response I’d been expecting. She really did want to know how I was. I wanted to tell her – I wouldn’t have asked her to come inside with me if I didn’t –, but I didn’t know how to begin. Should I start with how I’m feeling or start with the things that led to the divorce? I didn’t know. Maybe I should just start talking? But what would I say?

"How are you doing, Ike?" she asked, her voice soft. "You can be honest with me."

Honest. What side of honest? Did she want just plain honest Isaac, or the real sentimental, pouring your heart out honest Isaac? My guess was the latter by the way her eyes bore into mine, the concerned look on her face. But I was so used to bottling up how I felt – though I was never really good at hiding it – and releasing it during a show.

I looked at her. "If I tell you everything, promise it won’t leave this hallway?"

"I promise, Ike," she replied. "I won’t tell anyone – not my best friend, I won’t tell your brothers – nobody." Her voice was soft and held immense honesty. I knew this promise would be kept.

She motioned to a nearby corner and sat on the floor, her back resting against one of the walls. I slid down the adjacent wall. Slowly, my eyes met hers and I took a breath. Here went nothing.

The End

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