Dear Marcus,

I miss you. Its been only a few weeks since you died. I dont know why I'm writing these letters. It not like you'll ever read them. Oh gosh, I'm crying again and smugging all the ink.

This is my third try at writing this letter to you. I'm not sure whether to call it a diary or not. I mean I'm writing to you so isnt it a letter. Just cause you wont ever recieve it doesnt make it any less a letter. Anyway, I wish you could answer me. I wish you could write back and tell me about a wonderful place you've gone to but I know you will never.

You're body lies cold in its casket beneath the recently desturbed earth. Your grave doesnt have a headstone yet but I left you flowers and theres a little wooden cross in the ground to tell everyone thats where you rest. I'm not going to put these letters there. No, I'm going to lock it in that box that you gave me for christmas. You know that beautiful victorian one which you lock with the little key. I'm going to wear that key round my neck.

People are looking at me differently these days. They all know I cry myself to sleep at night. Apparantly you can hear it all along the street according to Rihanna. She visited me yesterday. I hadnt spoken to her until that day. The day I lost you. She blames herself you know but she shouldnt. It's my fault really. I let go of your hand. I let you fall. Why did the cliff have to crumble?

I ask myself that everyday. I mean its cruel isnt it how it chose that day. The day we went up there. I shouldnt probably finish this letter soon. I mean I'm writing this so I can grow stronger. I'll never stop missing you. You were my first love... possibly my last.

Me and mother are moving to the city next week. She wants me away from this place. I'm gonna miss Rihanna. I'm not gonna be able to visit you either but... I'll be able to write these letters. I'm using the writing kit you bought me a year ago. The one I never opened. Bit silly really. I mean writing now I remember why I did. It was cause I could express myself. Like how I'm writing to you now, expressing the emotions that I cant show anyone else. I mean I dont want to seem week do I?

You know how I hate seeming week. Oh, about the rose bush as well. The one we planted the day we got together. The day you kissed me on the grass. We're taking that with us. Mothers digging it up now to put it in a pot. Its gonna need lots of caring. I'll care for it though. I promise you.

I must go now. Its almost lunch time and I must eat.

I miss you, Angeline

Author guidance for This story

I realise that I havent wrote a solo in a while. I'm writing one on my laptop but I'm not posting that up here till its good underway or it might not go up at all.

- CrystalRose :)

updated Aug 16 '11 by CrystalRose