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I love you, but I don't.

I saw you across the room of the cafe, you were with a girl.

You walked past the table where my I sat with my friends.

My heart skipped a beat as you walked by, and I was hoping you would notice me. 

But, you didn't.

I walked over to your table to say hello, but all I could manage to choke out was some horrible rendition of, "how are you?"

You half smiled at me, and said you were fine.

Then, you got up and left.

Is this my cue to come running after you?

Because I won't do it this time.

I'm not that person anymore.

It kills me to know that you won't even speak to me anymore.

It kills me because I don't even know what I did.

It must have been horrible though.

But, I will say I'm sorry, for whatever it is that I did.

And, I will forgive you for hating me, for not talking to me, and for dropping me off the face of the Earth.

I wish you would read this, but I know you never will.

And that hurts the most, because I love every one of my friends.

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You were all I saw that night.

Ode to the 17 year old me.

I lost you.

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