All I can say, is I live by spontinuiety. All of a sudden, our lips were touching, and I remember it had been me who had put them there.

"What are you doing!" Wild eyes and accusing voices shatter my fantisy and tarnish my first real kiss.

For the first time since my mom died, I told a lie. I dileberatly told a lie to save myself from humilliation, and from loosing the closest friend I ever had.

"I'm sorry! I turned my head, and your face was right there!"

Then, to drive home a point, I simply had to add, "I don't have feelings for you. Gosh, that would be weird, I've know you since forever."

He chuckled the way he does when he's trying to make things light, "Girls, can't live with them, can't live without them."

And then he said the words that wont leave me till the day I die, "Well, I can. Man I love being gay! Hey I have to go, I'll see you Saturday Ellie!"

He got into a car, and pulled away leaving behind a trail of exaughst which  was the finishing touch and mirrored my feelings. 

Surpressing my emotions with a painfully long sip of soda, I sat alone on the curb of the sidewalk, wishing I could have anyone to talk to. He was the only person I couldn't talk about to my friends. My feelings would have upset the balence of our tight group, started a storm that didn't need to rage. No, perhaps it was good I was alone, save the conflicts and embarrassment. 

It was here, sitting on the side of the road, a sticky, broken hearted and emotionally confused mess, I realized since the day I pledged to tell nothing but the truth, I began to live a lie.

RATE THIS CHAPTER!