I know youMature

Tilly is crying in the park when a mysterious stranger turns up and talks to her as if he's known her all his life. She is totally captivated by this perfect-for-her guy and lets herself fall in love with him. Life becomes a glorious daydream.

I was crying in the park. I wasn't bawling or sobbing, just crying. The tears were sliding down my cheeks, cooling the skin underneath them. I was crying because I longed ... to express myself: to feel, to give, to share, to love. I was crying because I wanted a boyfriend. Boyfriend. The word sounded wrong somehow, like something casual and maybe common not slightly unattainable, exotic and special as I had always imagined one would be. Fiancé sounded better but then French was the language of love, wasn't it? But you couldn't call someone your fiancé unless you were engaged to them...

Maybe that was a good thing - it set your relationship apart from the ones which were more likely to end, less ... not less serious but less ... important. If you were engaged, you'd thought deeply about the person you loved and decided you probably wanted him and you to spend the rest of your lives together. Just having a boyfriend meant you could break up and move on more efficiently and that the guy wasn't 'the one'. I hate the way I sound as if boyfriend's didn't matter - especially when I sound like that to myself! Romance was what I dreamed about and day-dreamed about when my subconscious didn't get the hint I tried to drop that I desired to experience love more than anything else in the world.

But back to a better word for boyfriend. Soul mate... if you found 'the one' was perfect. Lover was great too, especially if you didn't believe in destinies (literal or figurative). Fantasatic terms ... yet tainted by their boring synonym. Boyfriend...

But I didn't care that the word was ineffective at conveying just how brilliant falling in love was: I wanted one. So so sooo badly. A small part of my mind also thought that I needed one.

So, there I was, crying. Crying because I wanted something I didn't have. Did that make me sound spoilt? I reckoned not... This was something that ran so deeply within me, I would say it was something that contributed to what made up my soul. I was crying because the longing had built up along with my imaginings of love and had to be let out, not because someone had refused to give me something I wouldn't be particularly better off having. 'Would I receive this gift of a lifetime?' I wondered.  That was when he appeared.

The End

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