It's like I'm two different people at once. One side of me is so good and so godly, it considers it wrong to lower standards and reduce worth. It finds you disrespectful and sometimes degrading when you ask for the things you do. But then the other side says I want to be with you no matter what. I want to make you happy. I want to be able to please you. And I want to not feel bad about doing it.
Both sides say scared. Because both sides are afraid to break free of their own rules and regulations. Neither side wants to be the one to change. Because both know that when the time for change comes, the decision will be between what is right and what is easy. What is right and what you want or what I want. What is right and what is wrong. But who's to say I'm right? Who's to say you're right?
I know and have known from the beginning that we're both wrong. And that this is a lost cause. We've become the seconds before the fall. I'm the last step and you're the first jump. Suicidal.