I Found A Boy

- more Adele inspired writing.

Well I found a boy who I love more, than I ever did you before, so stand beside the river I cried and let yourself down! Look how you want me now that I don't need you! I ain't yours for no taking, you must be mistaken. I could never look in your eyes, and settle for wrong and ignore the right.


This is your fault, you know. You're the one that let me go. You're the one that just decided it was okay to break my heart, again. But at the same time, it's my fault too. I'm the one that opened up to you, again. I'm the one that started back loving you and convinced myself that you loved me too.

I think I knew from the beginning, or maybe the middle, that it was all a lie. You never actually loved me. You loved the control you had over me. You were overjoyed with the fact that if your feelings for me suddenly surfaced again, I was guaranteed to drop whoever I had and run back into your arms. You loved that. You prided yourself on that very simple yet complicated thing.

And I was stupid to think you were different. You are different. But you're only different as in worse than all the rest. You put up this perfect front of love and compassion and God, but underneath it all you're different. You're evil and twisted and nasty. "What's done in the dark will come to the light."

You are the darkness that captured me, for three years. To think we live in the Sunshine State but I've been covered in darkness. That darkness is you. You morphed my point of view of myself and others. You made me feel like I was less than and you were the only one out there who could save me. You somehow convinced me that I was hanging out with the wrong people, but your friends are my friends. You stepped on my pride, over and over again. You tried to change me, forcing me to think about who I am not. And who I don't want to be, but who you wanted me to be.

You claimed to be so much holier than thou but then would turn around and whisper foul things to me. You claimed you weren't like every other guy, wanting only that one thing ... but that's not what you were saying Prom night. Don't you remember? Or is that one of your more shameful memories with me? You might as well have been begging on your knees that night. And thank the Lord I know who I am and what I what. And I know very well it definitely wasn't that. The thought of you disgusts me. And the thought of the secret life you lived disgusts me even more. The real you wasn't the guy I claimed to have fell in love with. I fell in love with fake you, front you. But I'm kind of glad about that. It helps with the healing process. The idea that no matter how much you tried to change me, I held my ground and didn't back down. You only ever had the power to hurt me because I gave it to you. But when I keep hold of the power, when I give the power to God where it belongs - you got nothing on me. Nothing but empty expressions and long thoughtful stares that don't affect me; your words mean nothing to me now.

You mean nothing to me now.

Although I wish you all the best in life, I'd like to say you're dead to me now. Although I hope everything you dreamed to do in this world comes true, I will never speak to you again. I'm done with you. Forever. I gave you myself once and you took advantage of that privilege. I'm a precious prize to be won, kept, loved, and cherished and you will never have enough of anything to get me (back).


But I found a boy who I love more, than I ever did you before, so stand beside the river I cried, and let yourself down! Look how you want me now that I don't need you! So, you thought that I would crumble to my knees at the first sight of you, crawling back to me. To whisper 'will you leave your man?' Cause you sweared that this time you can stand by me. I won't stand by you!

The End

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