"They would turn black and shrivel up like dried prunes in a matter of seconds..." said the Time Turner carelessly "welcome to my house!" he said enthusiastically waving his hands which miraculously lit up the house or room (it was more like a shed than a house).

         They were standing in a small, cramped room.  In the far right corner was a comfortable-looking chair covered in worn crimson velvet.  The chair's leg was surrounded by a number of ink pots with quills swimming in them.  Some contained ink that had solidified after time with the quills left buried in them permanently.  Beside the shelf stood the largest bookshelf Clarity had ever seen, covering the entire wall with it's large collection of books.  There was no bed however and this was the only room in the house.

        Clarity approached the bookshelf as she could think of nothing else to do.  The Time Turner retreated to the window in the corner, tossing a coin which was once a battery.  He appeared to be occupied in his hobby so Clarity remained to observing his bookshelf.

         She saw books with unusual titles such as "Time Turning: Everything you need to know Vol I" by A.A Wolf, "Kill the time and bury it" by Sarah Dahrnit and "Recipe book for Everyone" by T. Turner which Clarity took out to read.  She was curious to see what the Time Turner cooked even though he didn't own a stove, oven or microwave.  The first page was titled "The world's favourite cake: The World Cake"

Ingredients:

• Sliced cucumber friendly zombie
• Tomato pureed uterus (canned)
• Salad murdering forknife
• December strawberried onion with  a touch of eggnog
• Rat's brain in a dog skull
• A pinch of a pinched arm
• Retrosexual or Byrosexual transvestite with a cherry on top
• Chicken eating buisnessman liar
• Free range Ostrich egg peasant woman with a moustache
• A bible bashing incredible hulk who bashes chicken whilst still alive
• green peace t-shirt washed at 100 degrees C

        The book was annotated with an arrow pointing at the 'buisnessman liar'.  He wrote in small slanted letters: I'm just a hoi polloi.

       Clarity giggled at the word.  She had never heard it spoken or written by anyone before and had no idea what it meant.  But it sounded funny.

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i got the title from 'heart in a cage' by the strokes.

updated Aug 22 by incesticide