I never had many friends before Cambridge, the people I met always felt strange, out of place. I've come to realize that the ones I've know aren't the same as they were as children and yet are still the same people. They've been pressured into changing their skin to suit expectations forced upon them. I've found myself envying these simple people because I cannot seem to do the same. To find someone still genuine is incredibly rare and is something I believe we pursue in relationships, it's incredibly romantic to really see someone. Someone who doesn't change how they act but rather protests the expectations of others by behaving however they choose to. I find it funny now that this is what insulted me initially about Rachel, she had a hint of it about her. She always said what she really meant, I never heard her back down, only soften the impact of her words. But really, could I blame her? This is what I loved about her, that boldness. So on the fourth month of schooling, I confided in her my attraction to David. My heart had bursted and my desire to just... tell someone without being judged, it felt like swimming through a sea of quick sand, always getting deeper. So when I told her, in all sincerity, I didn't give a damn if she said I was wrong. At least until I said it. I'd found a new low in my heart's desert, a new panic seized me. This was worse than being numb.
She blinked for a second in amazement, then closed the gap between us with a tender hug.