" Fuck" I muttered
Then I let the very immature impulse rule me, I scattered the lottery tickets. They fell slowly like rain but would have to be shovelled like snow. I looked at them in disgust and then looked at Caleb. His opinion of me became suddenly very important. Caleb raised his eyebrows but said nothing. All he did was come by my side and rub up the lengths of my stone arms.
" Don't worry, I'll pick them up" I muttered.
Caleb shrugged " They aren't going anywhere"
I suddenly felt the urge to show my will to carry on. I started picking up the precipitation. Caleb bent down to help out. Our faces were suddenly very close together. But all I could focus on his what a tool I,d been. I ignored everything I knew about myself. Why? Because I was to fucking week to deal with it?
Caleb ushered me to the garbage I threw out my dreams of an easy answer. Then it was just me and Caleb face to face. We just stood there by the garbage can.
What do you want to do today? Just stop staring you'll scare her.
" I just want to dog fuck" I shrugged
" What did you just say?"
" Dog fuck, you know do alot of nothing. Lazy day...I can't believe you've never heard that saying' I explained
Caleb raised his eyebrows but wisely said nothing. Probably processing why I talked like white trash. The answer was simple: because I was white trash. Trailer trash since the womb.
" Go your guitar or something." I suggested
" Do you realize we are talking right beside a very smelly garbage can, lets move to some where else."
I didn't argue with that suggestion. I went to the kitchen and just sort of hovered. I felt like a teenager waiting to be asked to dance. Only when I was a teenager I never waited, I did the asking. You don't feel fear when your on E. You save all the bad feelings for the next day.
Caleb pulled me into his body. All the stiffness left my body. They was a sense of restrainment in his body. He let it disappate. The protector in him was incharge now.
" What would you normally do?" Caleb asked
" Let's see today's Sunday. .." I looked up at the ceiling thoughfully " It's 2: 30 pm...I would be working at the ' SaveOn' make up counter until 6:00 and then doing laundry. Exciting stuff." I said sarcastically
" Well, what do you want to do? I don't believe you sit around all the time during your free time" Caleb said.