October 14th, 2009
I almost shot a man today. A real man, a living one. Let me explain.
I fell asleep in the middle of a road; as I said before, I didn’t trust anyone enough to let them stand guard as I slept. My body didn’t care, though, and forced me to sleep.
When I woke up, he was sitting beside me. I almost hit him in the head as I frantically raised the barrel of the shotgun, I was so surprised. I though he was one of them for sure.
But he’s not. He’s the furthest thing from those creatures. His eyes are still full of life, a smile is always lighting his face, there’s colour in his skin. And such nice skin, too: soft to the touch, though his muscles have a firmness that I didn’t quite expect.
He told me to go back to sleep, and I did.
I must have been out for some time, as I awoke on a mattress in someone’s room. It was dark outside from what I could see out the window, the moon pale in the starry sky. There wasn’t much time to enjoy things like that, not when you were too busy looking out for your life.
But with him watching the door, with him watching out for both our lives, I could stop and remember the little things.
His name is Levi, and, though we only met today, I think I’m in love.
I feel like I’m intruding on something, something deeply personal. What the hell was I thinking, really? This is a diary, not some piece of fiction. I knew full well what I was getting into when I started.
Or did I?
I don’t remember feeling any other emotions than fear and determination during that week, and who would expect a romance to bud amid the chaos? Too many questions.
Maybe the diary holds more answers.
October 15th, 2009
He loves me too.
He said so today, when we were moving to a new hide-out. The previous one was spattered with the blood of the creatures he had killed while I slept, although I woke up and shivered in fear when I heard the gunshots.
While we were walking, he was jumped. One of the creatures crashed through a glass window towards him, and his rifle jammed when he tried to shoot her. She was a mess of tangled hair, blood, and ripped clothing. Her pale skin was bruised in places, and some of her fingernails had been torn off.
I shot her.
And after I did, Levi turned to me, and said I fucking love you. And he meant it. He really did.
We probably would have embraced, kissed, something… but how could we when our death could be waiting behind the abandoned storefronts?
Later today we ran into another couple, and we’re spending the night with them. Four pairs of eyes are better than two, and, even though I can’t bring myself to trust them, I trust Levi to keep me safe.
October 14th, 2009