Last night, I couldn't get a wink of sleep. I kept tossing and turning, thoughts running through my mind. All I could think about was whether or not I should go after Gracie. I mean, we're best friends. I love her as if she were my little sister. All I want to do is hug her and laugh with her. Protect her. But then again I also want to kiss her and gaze at her all day long. I like her so much, it's unfair that God ever allowed people to feel like this. I remember giving up and turning on the TV.
It was turned on to some reality show, and currently the attractive people flashing across the screen were at some party. The music was blasting through the speakers and everyone was dancing and having a good time. It reminded me of the Ryan's party, where Gracie fell asleep on me and we snuggled into each other while watching a movie. I shook my head and switched off the TV. I flipped onto my side and stared into the darkness. The pitta patter of the rain gently hitting my window reminded me of the “sleep over” me and Gracie had. I groaned and closed my eyes shut, awaiting the welcoming release of sleep to overcome me. It seemed like forever before I could finally fell asleep.
* * * * * * * * * *
Now, here I am, racing down the hallways. I over slept my morning classes and my lunch period. I am now trying my best not to knock over some innocent little freshmen. I flipped my bangs away from my eyes as I turned a corner. Suddenly, I crashed into someone. We bonked heads and fell to the floor. I exclaimed my apology as I tired to get off the girl, but then I met the eyes of Gracie. She smiled and removed her hair from her own eyes.
“Hey Jayden.” She mumbled. Our faces were so close, I could feel her warm breath on my cheek. I didn't trust my morning breath so I held it as I jumped off her and helped her up.
“Um, hi. That wasn't the way I expected to greet you this afternoon.” I laughed nervously as she blushed. “So how are you?” I asked gently, taking a step closer. She bit her lower lip, staring down at the floor. I unknowingly raised my hand and grabbed her chin. I lifted her face up closer to mine until I met her milky blue eyes again. I quickly loosened my grip and felt my face heat up.
“I-I'm okay,” She stuttered. “, Just sick and tired of everyone giving me pity looks. You know in our English class Mrs. Robinson handed back my test and written in the corner was, ' If you ever need to talk to someone about relationships or family issues, I'm the one to come too, okay?' “ I scoffed while she rolled her eyes. “How the hell did teachers even find out this stuff? Do they listen in on their students conversations or something?” I shrugged.
“I'm also tired of boys. All they lead to is heart break and tears.” She didn't meet my eyes. I had a feeling that I was one of the boys she was talking about. I felt upset that she thought of me like that.
“You know not all guys are going to be like that Gracie.” I rubbed her shoulder. She rolled her eyes again and looked disgusted.
“They are just so complex! One minute they could be giving you signals and are being like your best friend but then the next minute they could be freaking jerks.” She crossed her arms and looked down at the floor. I felt my breath stop. She doesn't like you.
She glanced back up at me and smiled sadly. “At least you're always be there for me.” I smiled slightly. She sighed happily and leaned in for a hug. I wrapped my long arms around her back and pressed my cheek against her head. “You're such a great friend.” She whispered into my shoulder. I nodded and sighed.
But though I know she has moved on, I still felt my heart beat violently as she hugged me tighter. I was afraid she might of heard it. She doesn't feel the same way as me. I should accept that. However, I can't. I just can't. The entire time we were embracing, I saw visions of us together. Of us being a couple. And that image filled me up with hope. There is no way I'm giving up on her.