Try the front door

Then you remember the front door. In your defense, no one in the house ever uses it so it's understandable that you'd forgotten about it until now. It's probably locked anyway, but who knows...

You walk out into the rain like a man, the chain in one hand and Zorro by the collar in the other. You reach the front door and bam! It's unlocked. Lucky you.

You take Zorro into the bathroom because he's wet and stinky, and you close the door (it's okay, there's food and water in there!) Now... time to make a mace. You find a hammer and wrap the chain around it, making sure it's nice and tight. It's not a mace, but it'll still tenderize the hell out of chicken.

You place the chicken in the middle of the counter and start pounding it with your chain-hammer. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Ahhh yes, you do feel like a man. You turn the tape back on and watch Cory Smash whacking away at his own frozen chicken.

You begin to hear a faint whining in between whacking sounds... You ignore it for a few whacks but it grows louder and louder and eventually you stop long enough to realize it's your wife, Betsy, coming down the stairs yelling at you.

The End

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