You get out the Mr. Clean and the carpet cleaner, toss the chicken in the garbage, and call for Chinese

You realize the wall isn't too bad, and once you're done with a scrub brush and the Mr. Clean you can hardly even *see* where the doggy barf has been. You think to yourself you may have scrubbed a bit *too* hard in places - there are some distinct holes in the wallpaper now...nothing a beige crayon won't fix though, so you move on.

Dragging out the gift you gave the wife last Christmas (and she said a carpet steamcleaner WASN'T THOUGHTFUL!!) you fill the reservoir with "Spring Fresh" carpet cleaning gunk, turn it on and begin to suck up the mess Zorro left on the couch and the carpet...what you didn't read in the directions was that you should have removed solid particles PRIOR to using the steamcleaner. The chicken bones are suddenly sucked into the steamcleaner and sound remarkably like...well, chicken bones being ground through a steamcleaner! As fast as they're sucked up, they are ground into itsy bitsy pieces, and deposited RIGHT BACK onto the couch and carpet, steamy, wet, and smelling like a spring day! 

Meanwhile, poor Zorro is hiding under the kitchen table - the steamcleaner's chicken bone regurgitation noises undoubtedly bringing back painful poochie memories.

Fearing electrocution or worse, you shut the steamcleaner off, grab a bucket of soapy water and the scrub brush, cleaning up the mess as best you can. You head back into the kitchen, and toss the whole lot into the garbage, along with the crappy DVD that started this whole mess!!

You are left wondering now what you'll do about dinner. You toy with some take out menus, thinking about Chinese, but not exactly sure exactly what you're in the mood for...

You grab a beer from the fridge and fflip on the TV for inspiration, and lo and behold, it's the Food Network!! You watch the show closely and, on your second beer, start to think, "Peking Duck...I could do that!!"

The End

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