''NAUGHTY Zorro!'' you say, and grab hold of the chicken. Your hold on it is rather hindered by its slipperiness. After all, it's a chicken. They're slippery at the best of times, right? It also has a liberal coating of Golden Retriever drool as a marinade. Nice! You don a pair of rubber gloves, which helps a little, and begin a tug of war with Zorro
Zorro pants happily, and tugs against you. He thinks this is a great game and wants more. Your hands slip off it, as your rubber gloves are now also coated with dog drool. The next part of the game, for Zorro, is to drop the chicken, encouraging you to think it's yours. then pounce on it as soon as you grab it again. This time he gets one of your hands involved in his doggy-mouth grip. OUCH! You take off the glove to inspect the wound. He broke through the glove, but as luck would have it, not the skin. Good - no tetanus shot required. You throw the glove across the kitchen. More luck. Zorro thinks this is part of the game too, and chases it.
Cold, slightly mangled chicken in hand, you go to the counter, and go to pick up your mace, only to find it has disappeared. There is only one suspect... Zorro again.
You look out into the garden to see him trotting away with your potentially award-winning home-made kitchen utensil.
You catch up with him, and so begins a second tug of war. You manage to retrieve it, but as you tug, one of the finishing nails embeds itself in your ungloved hand. Oh dear. Tetanus shot IS required.