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It was Cory Smash, but he didn't have his own show. The regular host was on medical leave, according to the voice-over; it had something to do with a zucchini and a improperly-grounded food processor.

"Here's what you do," Cory shouted from the screen, now in high definition instead of floating in the midst of the video cassette's scratchy gray lines. It wasn't an improvement.

"First, you need some radical music playin' on the stereo. This dish has attitude, and that starts with you!" He pretended to touch the remote control sitting on the counter, and out came an explosion of the worst music you ever heard.

You mute the tv, turn on your computer, follow the recipe as it's printed on the website and set the dinner table.

Uh oh. No one's written this branch yet. :o

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