This is something I wrote to Matt not long ago. But I thought I'd share it with the rest of you. See what you think. Well this is my first post so, happy reading =]
How my True Love Started
It started out as him giving a comment to me on one of my Let’s Play videos. I thought he was just another random commenter asking for my replies and more videos. But then something hit me. He was different from the others. I can’t explain how. He just was.
Later we did some chatting via PMing on Youtube. I began to like him so I asked for his Facebook. He gave it to me. Was a bit excited at first because I love making new friends.
Then things began to happen. I saw we had a lot in common. And we both managed to keep our friendship pretty high. So I declared him as a best friend. I was so happy because I rarely get them.
Then it became that we had a little too much in common. I began to flirt with him. I asked if he had a girlfriend. He said yes. I was a little disappointed but I soon got over it because I figured it was my emotions playing with me again.
It was then I met Shelton Watkins. I began to fall in love with him also. But I think I brought it on too soon because on the second day we met I asked him out on a date. He accepted. And soon we had our first kiss and were bf/gf. Then I was worried about Matthew Fagundes. How would I tell him? Then I figured that he probably wouldn’t mind. I mean, he was taken right?
I told him and he didn’t mind. I was happy at first but… I began to look at Shelton a different way. I felt I was doing more of this for myself than him. I felt selfish. I was going to try and let him get some of the good stuff. But I just couldn’t help feel that we didn’t exactly belong together. I don’t know how, I just did.
Then the day came. I found out that Matt’s girlfriend cheated on him for another girl. I saw he was angry and I felt him. And so, out of my heart, I helped him plan revenge. Pretty soon it came to the conclusion that he put cockroaches in her locker. It was kinda funny. But then it hit me. He was single now. I thought about him and Shelton. Then I thought, I’m already taken. I shouldn’t. But then I just kept feeling this strange thing that Shelton and I just didn’t belong.
Eventually, I snapped. I couldn’t help it anymore. The day finally came that I began to fall in love with Matt again. I felt something more strong than me and Shelton had. Then I began to regret the kisses Shelton and I had. Now I had to ask Matt. Did he love me back? I was shy at first but then I said, “Matt… I… I kinda…”. I couldn’t finish. I felt so stupid. What if he didn’t love me. But I began loving him. So finally I said “Matt, do you love me?”. He blushed. I could see he didn’t know what to say. Then finally he said something of a “yes”. I was shocked. Did he mean it? Did he really love me more than that other girl?? He began to tell me how he thought of breaking up with his old gf to be with me. I was very shocked. Then I began to well in tears. He really loved me. I couldn’t believe it!
The emotions came. I loved him. More than I loved Shelton, I loved him. Then came the tough thought. I would have to break up with Shelton soon. Matt later wrote a poem about me. It was so… I can’t explain it. My eyes were dressed in tears when I read it. It was official. He loved me more than anything. He told me of my greatness and his side to this story I write now.
The thought came again, and I decided, I have to break up with Shelton. I loved Matt too much to have Shelton. Then I began to get scared. How would Shelton react??
The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months. I was having horrible dreams of Shelton trying to kill us. I decided to have this relationship go down on its own. I decided to not talk to Shelton for a long time. Months passed and I was still scared. But then one of my friends told me that it was time to stop waiting and tell him. I cried and was scared at first. But eventually I got my senses. It had to be done.
The very same day I finally called Shelton. I told him we needed to talk, and that he was not going to like it. And he agreed. That was a shock. I didn’t think he would agree. He wanted to break up with me too. I guess all my suffering paid off, with a rather anticlimactic ending. We just ended up being friends. I did it. I broke up with him. He also broke up with me, which I was very happy about. Now I had Matt all to myself.
Slowly all my worries began to fade away. I was just gorging myself with the love I had for Matt. All that was on my mind those days was Matt, Matt, Matt. No other. I wasn’t even worried about Shelton anymore.
Matt, I write this for you. You deserve to know my point of view from our story.
Matt, you wont believe how strong my love is for you. I write with my eyes dressed in tears. I am so grateful to be with you. I couldn’t love any other. You deserve to be happy and so do I. Matt I write this because…
I love you
I would give up my life for you
I’d kill just to protect you
I’d never love any other
And you are the only good thing in my life today
You helped me get through tough times
You showed how you felt towards me and I did the same
You loved me back
And I can promise that as long as we stay together, nothing will ever come between us.
~Bristol Blakely & Matthew Fagundes~
June 29, 2011 and on…
May we be happy together, forever!
Bristol Alison Blakely