It all started when I was three....I asked my mom if I could eat some halloween candy and she said no. Then I asked my dad and he said yes. From that moment on I realized I didn't have to settle for the status quo. I could bend the rules and get what I wanted. Best of all I could get away with it.
I know what your thinking ,how did getting some halloween candy turn into a life of treachery? Getting the candy was the spark. The spark was left to burn bigger and brighter.
I suppose my parents divorce when I was eight solidify my being. There is really not much manipulating needed when people feel guilty. I feed of my parents guilt. And why would I ever feel guilty.They had just up rooted me and shattered my foundation. The most they could do was to take me to disney land and buy me lots of Hilary Duff clothes. That is ofcourse where I learned how to be happy. If I was to ever be happy again I needed clothes. Want became need.
From that point on. I walked around with a deep sense of entitlement. Everything I wanted, I deserved for my pain and suffering.
I suppose I could have deviated from my path at anytime but I didn't. It only got worse as my breast developed...I quicky realized that I would never have girlfriends again and that I could get boys to do whatever I wanted them to do. I had become a tease. Until I tried to tease a man...
Professor Gray was an crass middle aged man. He was always getting in trouble for offending someone. So he became my prey. I wanted to coast through his classes. Their was no better way to do that than black mail. So here I am bending over his desk, licking my lips...the whole shebang. I ask him when our asignment is due and hint that I have some "hard" work ahead of me. He looks at me bored. Bored. Bored? No he looked through me. Like there was a thousand girls out there just like me.
I was heartbroken.