Once Jen had rung me earlier on, I had hopped on the train from Glasgow to North Yorkshire. It’s not normally a stressful journey, but I did a publicity feature for my club a few days ago, which has brought me to people’s attention, therefore when I was in Glasgow station, someone asked me for my autograph. I frankly couldn’t believe it. I thought they’d got the wrong person, but they insisted I was the right person, so I obliged and a photo was taken.
Now I was here, me and Jen had had a quick smooch, now I’m alone and she is having a soak in the bath. I’m not sure whether I’m allowed a drink, as I think I am supposed to be picking Rachel up so I better ask Jen first.
“Jen? Can I have a beer? Or am I supposed to be picking Rachel up?” I shout up the stairs like an idiot.
“Erm, picking Rachel up. Then you can have one baby” she shouts back, I can hear her splashing around in the water, its quite comical
“Can I come up for a slash?”
“Yes, I suppose so”
And with that assurance I bound upstairs and burst into the bathroom, I am immediately am knocked back by the scented products, I turn round to say about it to Jen. But when I turn around she has a face mask on, it’s actually hilarious, I can’t help it so I just burst out laughing.
“Oi, why are you laughing at me?”
“What the heck is on your face?”
“It is called a face pack, it helps keep my skin nice and healthy and improves my beauty”
“Why would you need anything to do that?” I enquire, clearly all the scented products have gone to her head
“You know why”
“You do not need a face pack. I have told you before it does not improve your beauty, your beauty does not need improving” I quickly yank down my trousers and pee, as my bladder is emptying the pain goes away. I decide Rachel can wait for a little longer, as I doubt she will be ready now anyway. I sit down on the laminate flooring by the bath and just watch her, I have never seen her take a bath in all the time we’ve been together, bit odd I thought, so now is the time to start.
“What are you doing?” she asks
“Just watching” I say as I take a lock of hair and swirl it round my finger, it has already been washed and put in a bun, but a small lock of hair remains by the side of her head. I watch her for a little longer until she states she is getting out and asks me to pass her a towel, she gets out and shakes her feet back into the bath and wraps the towel round her. I notice that the towel is rather tight, but hey, it doesn’t matter, she washes the face pack off her face and for a short time her face is a reddy colour, it soon goes thankfully, otherwise she would not be happy. She dashes downstairs to get another drink, I feel slightly left out because I can’t have one yet, I maybe think she is doing it on purpose but I doubt it. She dashes about getting hairspray, perfume and nail varnish out of containers. She brandishes the bottle of nail varnish toward me and asks me to paint her nails, I agree but I have no idea how it will turn out, I’m not really accustomed to doing this kind of thing, if it goes well I’ll be a saint, if it goes badly, I will be in the dog house. I successfully paint them a dark purple colour, they will look black when we get to the venue though, so I really don’t see the point. I am already sat on the edge of the bed; it makes me the right height for painting nails. Jen keeps on dashing around the room til I pull her over to me and just hold her, I haven’t had much chance to do that today so now is the first time alone. I plant a huge kiss on her lips.
“What was that for?” she asks
“Do I need a reason to kiss my beautiful, gorgeous, fantastic girlfriend?” I ask innocently continuing the barrage of kisses inbetween words.
“No,” she said succumbing to them, “No you don’t at all, you can kiss away all you like”
I bury my head into her neck and smell, the sweet smell of perfume products is nearly overpowering but I still like it. Her body is warm from the bath as well as natural warmth and I don’t want to let go, but I know I will have too. Reluctantly, she wriggles away from me and drops her towel ready to get changed. Is she actually trying to make me come right on the spot, because if she carries on, I think I might just do that. After she has put her underwear on she manages to fit into the smallest dress I have ever seen, and she asks me to zip it up at the back, I must admit it’s a bit of a struggle but I don’t let this be known, I know she gets very self conscious of her weight as it is, I don’t need her worrying tonight. I am then dispatched to get Rachel and twenty minutes later I return to the flat to find music being played rather loudly, drinks set out on the table and shot glasses ready to be used. Party on.