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Vengeance is Mine!

Well, he's really done it now.

The time has flown by & the big guy has had a field millenium.

Thanks to the natives he now think he is a God, going around smiting things, issuing decrees, Thou wilt this &  My will be done that.

He even destoyed a city with some fire and brimstone (although this may have been my fault as me and Raph were on a bit of bender, couldn't find a woman so Raph, using my nickname of the time, says to me 'Get Thee behind me Stan'). I mean, it was just a joke for His sake. When we pointed this out to Him, He just said, 'Sod 'em'.

He then caused a great flood because he wanted to wipe out our offspring and the natives because they weren't 'paying him enough attention'.

Fortunately, we got wind of his plans & managed to warn a family to build a great boat. I told him to fill it with two of every grape for future wine making but it got mistranslated into animals. Oh well, they'll always be barbeques.

Thanks to a little inbreeding it only took 500 years to get the population levels back up to antedeluvian levels. (All the .....um... not quite human, 6 fingers, 12 toes, 2 heads etc we shipped off to the eastern edge of an island far to the west of us).

He is now threatening to cast me and my allies down from Heaven which is a bit rich considering we live on a mountain. Says we are undermining his authority and are Mutineers.

He's finally forgiven Az, or Moses as he now likes to be called and set him to task  writing a book outlining his new laws.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours ass, he says. Well, I've seen my neighbours ass and he's right on that one. (The blonde a couple of caves down, however...)

The time has come to make a stand. I am gathering my allies for the Apocalypse. I tell you, the way He goes on about Armageddon you'd think it was the end of the world.

 

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9 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

protagonize: author profile thumbnail for andywho "I agree, it's a bit Monty Python, but it had me chuckling all the way up to sleepy time."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "alls good. :) slightly bad taste with that sod'em joke but thats comedy for ya.

lol Stan
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for andywho "excellently written. Very funny.
I will try to follow and introduce 'The Big Guy'
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Hope it's ok. Thanks tho. I had fun with this ;)"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for andywho "Great!
Many thanks
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "okeydoke, will have a think how to continue :)

best.

Stan (lol lol)
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for andywho "Hi
Thanks for the positive comment. I think you're right, he did have a name (for the purposes of my story it would be An, the lord of the Heavens in ancient Sumer). However, I have suggested that He decided to have none. In ancient Egypt (during Akhenatens reign) He was represented by the sun's rays, the Aten. Even today, Jews do not say aloud Yahweh as it sacrilegous to do so. Maybe as the story develops we will see the reasons behind Him trying to hide His name from us?????
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Hey,
Different and interesting. I thought God did have a name tho? It's just unknowable - and if it was said the world would end or something. Isn't it known by its pattern of syllables? Maybe I'm wrong.
So Satan's an alien? :D
"

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