The Big Guy Cometh

Diary entry of Luce Iffer 2nd in Command of the mining vessel  ' Say it with Ore':

It has now been 200 solar years since we gave up trying to remove the ship from the quagmire it belched and oozed it way into and things have certainly changed around here.

I have assumed command and have finally got my crewmates to call me Commander rather than 'Luce'.

We arrived to find a planet inhabited by hunter gatherer groups, with little intelligence, no recognizable speech, no leadership and worst of all, no booze!

Against the orders of the big guy, myself, Verin, Azrael, Asmodeus, Raphael and a few others decided to teach these...... earthlings... a thing or two about life, the universe and making great wine. Oh, and astronomy, mathematics & such.

The females of this species have proved to be rather attractive to us (especially after a couple of skins of wine combined with Raphaels guitar playing and sing songs around many a camp fire), consequently resulting in some giant hybrid offspring, with greater powers than the earthlings, rising to prominence. I myself, apart from trying to teach them basic skills such as wine making, reading and writing, have succumbed to the drunken pleasures of the flesh and have numerous sons and daughters off causing mayhem somewhere.

Well, we are stuck here for the forseeable future so why not make the most of it? The locals all see us as Gods (something we have tacitly encouraged, it has to be said), and, although it goes against our laws to interact with other species, these are extenuating circumstances, are they not?

One thing is certain, however; The big guy is not going to be a happy bunny when he awakes from his suspended animation sleep. Due to a malfunction back at base, his pod was incorrectly set to wake him 200 years after us and it is not without a little apprehension that we wait for his awakening. ( I secretly wish that Azrael had left the pod in the ship to sink to the bottom of the quicksand lake).

    End entry

The big guy coughed and spluttered his way to consciousness, his mind reminding him and relieving him of 1,000 years of dreams in an instant.

'Are we there yet?' He asked, not realising he was in a dank dark cave and not in the pristine confines of his sleek ship.

Luce and Raphael glanced at each other uncomfortably.

'Well Sir, it's like this.....' Luce began.

' What happened was....' Raph started.

The big guy slowly became aware of his surroundings ' Before either of you say another word....I need the toilet'

The End

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