They say that history is written by the victors, which I find rather ironic, as it was me, the Original Loser, who gave you writing in the first place.
Please allow me to introduce myself. Easier said than done!
You will probably recognise me by the name Satan or Lucifer.
My original Earth-Name however, was En-Ki although I have, through the Millennia, been known by such wonderfully diverse names as Beelzebub, Baal, Loki, Set, Semjaza, Abbadan, Shaitan, Old Nick, Old Scratch, Pan and well, to quote a Greek Evangelist, my name is Legion (I find it a constant source of amusement that I, at last count, have more than 100 names but He, in His infinite wisdom, decided to have none).
Many evils and atrocities have been attributed to my name(s), some true, most not and I have decided that the time is right for me to put down in words (my creation, remember!) the true version of events regarding your humble beginnings and my part in them.
The reasons for doing this now are manyfold; chief of which are that He, and His Elohim have somehow, finally, repaired the ship that brought us all here to this rocky outpost 7,500 of your years ago and have cast me adrift to 'contemplate upon my folly'.
Secondly, I am old and probably dying. (In your years, I am over 9,000 years old, not a bad innings, all things considered). I am also the very last of the Mutineers, Azrael having succumbed when the body he was inhabiting, a Central African Dictator, was assassinated suddenly, giving Azrael no time (given his advanced age) to escape.
So now, with nothing to look forward to apart from my essence disintegrating into nothingness, I have decided to tell you the secrets of your history.
You will probably choose not to believe (after all, another of my titles is Prince of Lies), and that's ok, read it as fiction and enjoy.
I suppose from your perspective, the story begins when we crash landed into your planet in the region to become known as Sumer, now Iraq, some 7,408 years ago................