Where Do I Go From Here?

I waited in the alley-way, my head in my hands, my foot pressed against the brick wall. The moon was the only light that illuminated in the pitch black. Where was she? This constant waiting and anticipation had me going crazy in my all too confused and hit hard mind. I slid down the wall and sat down next to it. This place had the eerie lingering of a ghost, and I felt so disconnected to the piece of me that never left where I died. Yes, I was going to talk to Aaliya in the hardest place for her to return to. This was going to end tonight. I couldn't stand living a lie anymore. Juliet should be able to live with her brother's death as he died. I couldn't put together the pieces in a way that I was content with. Everything was too hard for me. My soul lived here, and it needed to pass on.

Aaliya arrived, shivering.  I stood up and held her in my arms.... well his arms to be exact. She wasn't shivering because it was cold outside,  not because snow was starting to fall from the sky in a delicate pattern. She was shivering because she could feel it too. I looked into her eyes, and smiled slightly after seeing what I saw. I saw my face, a sight that I would've forgotten if not for seeing his body lay in a casket a few days before. 

"I'm glad you came," I huffed, able to see my breath. "I had something that I needed to talk to you about." She nodded gently. She was too in shock to speak. "I'm not who you think I am. You know me much better than you think you do. I know you better than you think I do. Your name is Aaliya Joy, Ian's girlfriend. My girlfriend. You read the obituaries, or at least you did, every morning and read them to me. I never really enjoyed listening to them, but put up with it to keep your happy. You're dying inside because I had to leave you but this whole time I haven't really been that far away. I'm Ian, I don't know what power forced me to live this life, but it did. I am the one who died that day for you, and i don't regret it one little bit."

Tears rolled down her face, and i think she saw finally what I saw in her eyes. I took her hand and she smiled to me. I rubbed the tears from her cheeks with the side of my hand. "Ian."


"Your not dead."  

"I wish I was," I confessed. She held me in her soft embrace. "I don't want to be here. I feel like I'm just hurting the ones I love even more. I want to be with my mother, I want to see her face again."

"Ian," She sobbed. "I don't want you to leave me. Come back home." 

"I can't," I chocked. "I'm Lucas now, I can't leave his family. How is that fair?" She kissed me softly and rubbed my arms. 

She held me a little longer and then admitted that it was getting late and that she had to go home. I didn't know where I would go, so i just stayed there. It was my only choice, and the only one I found remotely suitable. 

The sky scattered with little white balls of light, which where cold at the touch. Just like me, their appearance was misleading. The light of the moon grew brighter as it reached the peek of the sky. I felt a gust of wind and suddenly a presence of yet another ghost. I looked up and saw her.

My mother, a white silhouette, with a ghostly appearance. Her eyes bright, and inviting. I held out my hand and she took it. 

"Son," She said sweetly in the voice that I had only vaguely remembered from that first day of life. "I thought it would be best this way, but it wasn't. Take my hand, I'll make it all up to you." I nodded. 

Suddenly, a light flash, and the smell of a hospital room. 

I felt small, I looked up to see my mother's fully colored face shining down at me. She recited my name to the nurse. My father smiling by her side. She looked full of life, and so did my father, inviting me into a world I'd never been in before. I smiled and laughed, now just a small infant once again. My name: Ian Oliver Soul. 

The End

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