All of a sudden there was the sound of an electrical chainsaw. She looked down with excitement and horror as the buzzing sensation in her feet told her that it was coming from the floor. She stood back as the saw began to protrude, cutting and cutting and cutting until a neat circle had been cut out of the ground. The solid circle took what seemed forever to hit the floor below with a thud. She could hear it whirling around like a spun coin before it finally came to a halt.

She had always been one for believing what was in front of her but, for the first time in her life, she found herself struggling for, what she now saw rising from the neatly-cut circle, was none other than the head of a clown with bright yellow hair sticking up like straw, two crosses for eyes and a mad, red smile.

"CORNER SHOP CORNFLAKES," he screamed in a high-pitched voice, "THE BEST TO YOU - EVEN TERRIBLE!"

So saying the heroic clown took her onto the unusually large vacuum cleaner which hovered improbably above the floor of the downstairs room and upon which he himself was sitting.

The two of them flew out through the open window, leaving behind a world of sordidness and male pleasure at the expense of womankind.

Somehow within minutes of the journey starting she found herslef managing to think beyond the bitter cold and the sheer unlikeliness of her situation to the following thought: if only every woman in her predicament could be freed by a clown who screamed about breakfast cereals. But that, she realised, would be as improbable as a flying vacuum cleaner.

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