I could be the one to hold you and I could be the one you need, but I could never be the one to give you everything.
His hand in mine,
his hand was in hers.
His lips against mine,
his lips were against hers.
His body pressed to me,
his body was pressed to her.
Beautiful he calls me,
beautiful he called her.
It shouldn’t matter, right? The past is the past and the present is the present. And the future is the future. So it shouldn’t matter where we’ve been, who’ve we’ve been with. What should matter is what’s here and now.
He followed her down the hallway silently as she led the way to their usual spot. She’d always felt weird on these walks though. Maybe it was the way he trailed behind her instead of strolling side-by-side like other couples do.
Though they weren’t like other couples.
Maybe it was the way he noiselessly trailed behind her on these walks. Or maybe it was just the butterflies in her stomach: telling her, warning her, of what she was about to do. It wasn’t wrong. Everyone went off for this. Everyone was doing this.
And yet, it seemed so wrong in her mind. She was still going along with it … but not entirely because she wanted to. And he wasn’t forcing her … she just didn’t have a heart to say no. After all, “no” had been her favorite word, still was her favorite word.
Once as they played around arguing, he explained that saying no was the only thing she could beat him at. Every other game, every other challenge—he won. Except for saying no. That was her rule. That was what she did.
But over the weeks, something changed within her. She still yearned to tell him no, but she held back more often than not. She let him go on when she wanted him to stop. Was it the newfound boyfriend-girlfriend issue? No. It was unexplainable.
Saying no was her only power. Why lose it? The cape and mask disguise packed away. Superhero status gone. “NO,” was all she had.
But of course, all of the problems surrounding this relationship didn’t stay unexplained, unsolved and forgotten. They were fixed, or at least brought to the surface again. Like ghosts coming back to haunt you.
Remind me of those words you once said.