no idea

I am lost, I am lost, I am lost, I am lost, I AM LOST.

I ate, I drank, I walked, I walked a bit more, I saw him, I ran and I ran, I hid, I am hidden and now I am lost.

''Good morning babe.'' I smiled at the most amazing guy in the world.

''Morning Grace.'' Alex held me tight and kissed my cheek ''did my baby sleep well?''

''Yes your baby did and did my baby sleep well?'' I ran my fingers up his bare chest smiling up at his beautiful eyes.

''Yes I did thanks for asking, oh dear is that a zit on your head?'' he laughed darkly and I hid my head under my pillow. ''Grace why are you hiding from me?'

My breathing was heavy I tried to slow my heart rate but my adrenaline was kicking in.

''Grace baby I am not going to hurt you I just want to know why you ran from me.''

I heard his footsteps pacing backwards and forwards.

''Alex relax you are making me nervous the baby might be fine we could just be worried for nothing so sit down cause you're making me nervous.''

''I am sorry baby I just want everything to be okay I don't want to have to say goodbye to our unborn child.'' He sat next to me and held my hand.

'I love you with all my heart and if anything happened to the baby just know we still have each other.''

''Grace I can hear you breathing you can't hide from me I am your boyfriend, we have a son you can't keep him from me forever you know. god dammit get out here now before I kill you.''

''See I told you there was nothing to worry about I just can't believe we are going have a boy.'' I rubbed my belly and smiled at my son.

''What about Jason? How do you think he is going to feel when he finds out his mother is dead because you couldn't stand him no more? So you slit your throat and died instantly. He will be safe with me though his loving father who would never hurt him the way you have.''

''Jason is a perfect name little baby Jason, Jay for short.'' I kissed Alex and walked out of the hospital holding his hand admiring the sun.

''You're lucky it's dark easy for you to hide from me after you said you will always love me and never abandon me and our kid.''

''Alex I want you to know when Jason is born and we are settled down I am never going to leave you two I love you both so much I just want you to know that we are going to be a happy family.''

''I am giving you to the count of three to come out and come be a family again with me and Jay. One....Two.....Three''

''Happy 3rd birthday Jason.'' I hugged my son and gave him a kiss on the head. Alex stumbled in drunk as usually and slumped on the couch. ''Where the hell have you been it's your sons birthday and you come home wasted it's only 10 am couldn't you have at least been here to open Jays presents with him? You know what forget it get out of my house I don't want you near my son when you are drunk so just get out.''

''IT'S MY HOUSE GRACE and you....you kicked me out it's my ******* house. So you get out here and prove what a tough women you are because you are not if you are hiding away from me.''

''Thanks Mom for taking Jay for the night I just need to keep him away from Alex for a bit he has been coming home drunk and I don't want that for Jay.'' I hugged my mom goodnight and ate a bag of crisps and drank some coca cola and walked down the dark shortcuts to my house. I heard footsteps behind me and turned around, it was Alex I ran and ran as fast as I could into the bushes and hid away from him. I felt lost.

''You gunna show yourself then?'' Alex shouted as he got closer to where I hid.

I came out of the shadows and faced the guy I once knew and loved so much the man I had a future with the man I had a beautiful son with the man who shot me.

I am lost, I am lost, I am lost, I am lost, I AM LOST.



The End

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