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Strange Dreams

There's nothing around him, only a deep blackness so thick it has substance. But he can feel movement in the air and a sound far off. A strange sound, but one he thinks he's heard before sometime.

    They don't go on vacations, not like other families. There's too much work, his dad always says. Too much work and not enough money. But they did go once, when he was about nine he thinks, down to the sea. He can't remember where, but he does remember the sound of the waves when they hit the shore.

    The sound he hears now is like that; the distant crash of sea, the way it sucks back at the sand, rolling.

    And now there's light; lights he holds in his palms. He can see them, his hands held out in front, glowing red and orange, his upper arms down to the elbows aglow in a corona like the heart of a star. It looks like it should hurt, only it doesn't.

    Shane walks, not sure what he's walking on but that it's solid. It's not sand, doesn't feel like that. Feels more like stones. He walks toward the sound of the sea. But like in all dreams where you try to get somewhere, he can't seem to make it. The sound only gets further away, quieter with every step he takes.

    Another step, he's at school. He knows this dream. He's in the hall at lunchtime and the tables are crowded with kids, all staring at him. They ignore him usually, but in this dream they always stare. Stare at him like he's an alien, like he just stepped out of a cracked egg, a freak.

    One of the kids gets up. Shane knows him; or at least knows who he is. It's Zack Corsey; legend in his own time and he knows it. He walks the halls like he owns the world.

    But Shane feels no fear. He reaches with his glowing hands and grabs Zack's huge arm, wraps his fingers round those lean muscles Zack's so proud of; the ones that make him a star. The glow burns Zack.

    It smokes and hisses, burrows like a live thing.

    Zack's screaming, his mouth's open wide. He's throwing back his head, howling. Doesn't sound human.

    Screaming.

    Shane opens his eyes in the morning light, his scream ringing in his ears.

    He can smell burning, his room is smoky. Around his hands, where they lay against the sheet, are rings of scorched, flaking cloth.

 

5.00
3

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13 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "sure no prob

lookin forward to reading it whenever you find the time

:)
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Gimmie some time to mull over it, my girl is napping but she'll be awake soon and want some WB attention haha... I'll get back to it maybe later tonight."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "anyone going to add to this? - because I could do another branch
WB?

:)
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "I've got to get out of this 'like' fetish I seem to have. It's like getting like too much."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Too cliched? Hope it's ok anyway. I like describing dreams :-)"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Lol tense change. Maybe we should stick to one tense?

But v exciting adventure.
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "I actually prefer prologues, and I usually write them with every story. I guess thats where the exposition side of me comes out. I suppose I can tweak again though. I've been tweaking a lot already :P."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "yours and mine, at least. And here's a 5 for your branch too. :)"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Re exposition. I tend to avoid it as much as I can. Most of it is stuff anyone reading doesn't need to know right away, and that they can gather anyway from later events.

This is my reason: In general exposition - ie chunks of explanations in the text that don't move the action forward - always sound to me as if it's the writer working out the plot details, like a kind of synopsis.

You really don't need so much of it I think. I also dislike prologues for this reason.

But then I am weird. No need to go by what I say, and take everything exactly with as much salt as you like. This is all strictly my opinion :-)
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "I agree with Seldom here. I think it would have been better to start with the character, and the extreme coincidence that he was looking through his telescope and saw a comet that actually crashed onto his property. And you keep all the really interesting stuff in your head and subtly reveal it throughout the story-making process. Then it becomes a game for you, to take the story in your head plus whatever people write, and mold them together. At least that's what I find to be really fun about this site. And the shorter the intro, the easier it is to branch. Same thing I was saying on your Sub-Aquatic Bearthing story. All in all I really like this concept, and Shane... a nerd, even in his coolest dreams. ;)"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "I kind of had an idea of what I wanted this story to be but I didn't like the finished product. Oh well one of the bastard children that usually come out haha.

I hear the word exposition attached to a lot of my writing, I guess I must be an exposition writer! :P
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Liked Shane as a character, but I wasn't sure you needed so much explanation at the start. Prefer to jump straight into the character - maybe a personal thing. I've been told off before for not explaining enough lol so perhaps it's my failing.
Anyway, enjoyed. Particularly the last two thirds where we get closer to the action and there's less exposition.
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Now, I'm basing where I think this story will go a lot on three things. The Rocketeer, Metroid and Guyver. If anyone actually knows what the last one is you're a movie buff like me.
It is NOT at all based on transformers and I don't even want to hear that connection :P, its not at all based on that!
"

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