But as Shane nears the house running he finds that no one has woken up yet. The sun is still pretty low in the sky its probably about 4 am. His father doesn't get up until 5.
Shane stops at the front of his house. He breathes in deeply, suddenly realizing that his asthma has not acted up at all during his entire run home. In fact he was able to run without even feeling winded.
He checks his pocket, and realizes its probably a good thing because his inhaler is missing. He figures he must have left it on the grass when he woke up in the field. He shrugs not worrying about it for now and sneaks into the house.
If he's lucky he can sleep for another 3 hours, so he crawls into bed and closes his eyes. Before drifting off again he rubs the back of his neck, not really noticing the small bump of red irritated skin that has formed back there. Then he's off to sleep once more.
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lookin forward to reading it whenever you find the time
:)"
WB?
:)"
But v exciting adventure."
This is my reason: In general exposition - ie chunks of explanations in the text that don't move the action forward - always sound to me as if it's the writer working out the plot details, like a kind of synopsis.
You really don't need so much of it I think. I also dislike prologues for this reason.
But then I am weird. No need to go by what I say, and take everything exactly with as much salt as you like. This is all strictly my opinion :-)"
I hear the word exposition attached to a lot of my writing, I guess I must be an exposition writer! :P"
Anyway, enjoyed. Particularly the last two thirds where we get closer to the action and there's less exposition."
It is NOT at all based on transformers and I don't even want to hear that connection :P, its not at all based on that!"