'Nerdy Kid Finds Comet!'
Shane shook his head in dismay, even in his fantasies he was a loser. He moved the thought from his head and focused on where the comet had hit the ground. He felt his asthma kick in when he was at least a kilometer away from what he could now see of the smoking crater.
He stopped and wheezed as he reached for his asthma inhaler. Taking deep breathes he inhaled the drug slowly, all the time watching the crater, almost as if he expected some beast to come crawling out of it.
The idea teased his mind and he had to take a few more puffs to calm himself down before he was able to continue. He jammed the inhaler back in his pocket and slowly made his way towards the crater, until he was just able to peek over the edge and take a look inside the hole.
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lookin forward to reading it whenever you find the time
:)"
WB?
:)"
But v exciting adventure."
This is my reason: In general exposition - ie chunks of explanations in the text that don't move the action forward - always sound to me as if it's the writer working out the plot details, like a kind of synopsis.
You really don't need so much of it I think. I also dislike prologues for this reason.
But then I am weird. No need to go by what I say, and take everything exactly with as much salt as you like. This is all strictly my opinion :-)"
I hear the word exposition attached to a lot of my writing, I guess I must be an exposition writer! :P"
Anyway, enjoyed. Particularly the last two thirds where we get closer to the action and there's less exposition."
It is NOT at all based on transformers and I don't even want to hear that connection :P, its not at all based on that!"