The Northern Lights had been brilliant all week long and had been clear in the sky as far south as San Fransisco. Satellite data indicated that the solar wind was blowing harder than ever and the energy of the bombardment from ionized particles in its currents had excited plasma over the Earth to such an extent that the glow discharge this caused began to extend much closer to the equator from the poles than it had in centuries. Glorious. Also, Grammarians noticed that sentences of unusual length were being written with increasing frequency. However, the weather this summer had been worse than ever on record. Hurricanes were larger and they were more plentiful. Tornados had also increased their frequency. Thunder storms ravaged the prairies almost daily. Many believed there must be some connection between the electrical current (it always seems silly to call it a "wind") flowing around our planet and the electrical storm activity on the ground. Many were of the opinion that it was the electricity which generated the storms, not vice versa.
Hank didn't care which caused what. He was wet. He was cold. No, he wasn't cold and this irritated him because usually when it rains in Calgary, it's cold. He expected to be cold, but wasn't. Hank hated to be disappointed — disappointed and wet. He shivered against the cold he didn't feel and crossed the street.
The office building he walked into had over its door a large, brass sign. It read, "Globotherm Geosystems Inc." It was Hank's sign. GGI was Hank's company. GGI was also in serious trouble. Pausing briefly to throw his newspaper onto an end table in the lobby, he approached the elevators.
"Good morning, George," Hank said to the security guard as he passed the desk.
"Good morning, Hank," said George. "Reporters are waiting for you upstairs. I take it you've seen the headlines?"
"Yah, yah, yah, crap. I just gather the data. I don't manufacture it." He pressed the "up" button. A moment later, Hank got on the elevator.
His most recent data indicated the global mean temperature had risen again. They also showed that greenhouse gas emissions had gone down again. The globe was warming alright, but everyone appeared to be wrong about the reasons why. Fingers were being pointed. Reputations were being lost. Characters were being assassinated. Currently Hank was under fire from the federal government. They had adopted economically dangerous policies for the sake of reducing greenhouse gas emissions. They were becoming embarrassed. Either the temperatures weren't rising (clearly they were) or emissions were not really down. The reporters upstairs didn't want to know what was causing the warming. They wanted to know who was paying to skew the data. They wanted to know who was misinterpreting the figures. They wanted to know why GGI was using faulty equipment. They wanted to know, once and for all, why Hank was lying to the world.
"Crap," Hank muttered again. The elevator door opened. The media pounced.