I emerge from the steaming bathroom, feeling a whole lot better and more awake. I towel my hair down, before flinging the towel into the basket inside of the restroom. Clambering back into bed, I lay on my back and stare at the ceiling. Mom.... Her face flashes in my mind, and I cringe at the image. People say that memory fade with time, but I have yet to lose any detail of my family who died a painful death. I can still recall my mother's easy smile, my dad's deep laughter and my sister's gentle touch. I could still smell them all, my mom's lavenderish smell, the faint cigar whiff my dad carried with him, the strawberry scent my sister had, and I frowned at the memory. Quit it Aless, before you have another sob fest.
"You are thinking of your family, are you not?" Cassiel's voice filled the room, banishing the depressing memories about my parents and my sister. I glance over to my right, where Cassiel sat on the edge of the bed, studying the plait design of my blankets. He always seems to know what's going on with me, and I can't tell you whether that's because of the bond or just because he's an angel. His molten gold eyes caught mine and I see his mouth give in the a slight smile. I look back to the ceiling and contemplate on a response.
"Yeah." It was the only thing I could think of, and I just settle back into the sheets, feeling a bit tired, but not wanting to be able to experience another nightmare. My curtains were drawn, no help for me finding out what time it was.
"It's 3:49 in the morning." Cassiel easily answered, and got up to move around. I roll my eyes, of course Cassiel would know. He's like a walking calender and clock, quite helpful when my brain is slow. I ease into a sitting position, and study Cassiel as he gracefully moved around my room. Lucky guy, he looks like some prince of a foreign country, meanwhile I'm the clumsy toad of Loserville. "You are not a toad, Aless." Honestly, I never get how Cassiel knows what I'm thinking, but I brush off his reply. I always stare at my reflection in the mirror of everyday, and try to make sense of everything. Unruly black hair that fell to my waist, and somber blue eyes would always greet me, and I'd feel nothing but animosity towards myself. "Everyone is their own worst critic." Cassiel says to my thoughts and I snort.
"Nice to know, Mr. Know-It-All." I answer, and smile when I hear his easy chuckle. He turns to me, and I appraise him. Gorgeous tousled brown hair, golden yellow eyes, fair skin, what's not to like about him? "Looking good, Mister." I cat-whistle and grin when he smiled at me. He walks over to me and sits beside me. "What's not to like about me? Well, I may possibly look like Edward Cullen." This time, I laugh out loud and push his arm playfully, before letting him wrap me in his arms and pull me into his lap. "A vampire, Cas? You could never be so evil." I say slowly, and I feel him shrug. We sit there for several minutes, and my mind began to drift back to my family. I sigh, and felt Cassiel pull me closer to him.
"You are troubled, are you not?" I shrug, and felt his chest rumble with a laugh. "You are thinking of your family. You have that face." I frown, immediately cutting off whatever face I may make when I think of my family. I look up to Cassiel and find comfort in his gold eyes. Sighing yet again, I turn and face his chest. "What is it Aless?"
I close my eyes, and hear my mother's laughter, causing a piece of me to break a little. "I just want to know where my family is now..." Well, that's not all of it, but I rather not get into that topic with Cassiel right now. I felt my angel sigh, and I looked back up to see his golden eyes filled with a deep sadness. Concern filled me, and I put a hand to his face. "Are you alright, Cas?" He gave me a slow smile and leaned into my hand, sighing yet again. Trust me, an angel sighing is like a puppy whimpering to have someone play with him, cute but so saddening. "I am sorry I cannot help you with your worries Alessa." He put his head down and sighed more.
Shout out to all those that don't know, but angels cannot cry. I have no idea why, they just can't. Not once have I seen Cassiel cry, and it's been quite awhile. And yet, in the time we've spent together, he probably seen me cry so much, I could fill the entire Nile River. I'm such a cry baby.
I tilted Cassiel's chin up and stared into his eyes, feeling both down and yet happy with Cassiel's words. "It's not your fault Cas. Besides, you helped me more than anyone ever did before." Indeed, Cassiel himself taught me how to defend myself against entities and whatnot, even against people who may want to start trouble. He gave me a way of life that both honored my family and granted me the vengeance I sought against the dark forces in this world. It was more than I could ever ask for. However, Cassiel looks away and sighs some more. "I wish I was able to tell you about your family, but I am not able to see where they are."
Yes, I have been asking if Cassiel could see my family in Heaven, but for some reason, Cas has been unable to return to his home. I never pushed it past that ever since finding out he couldn't go home, there was always this feeling that plagued him when I got close to that topic. So I avoided mentioning anything related to it.
Once again, I force Cas to look at me and I smile bravely. "Cas, it's fine. Don't think about it." Cassiel stared into my eyes, and gave me a slight smile. "As you wish, my princess." Man, this guy has definitely got some way with words, he's always so formal. I laugh and hug Cassiel. He understands me and what I go through, and I feel like this connection is so important to me, something I'd never want to lose. A yawn, however, disrupts my thoughts and I cough a bit when Cassiel grins at me.
"The princess needs her beauty sleep." Cassiel goes to stand and put me down, but I wrap my arms around him. "No, please. Can...can I sleep in your arms tonight, Cas?" I haven't done that since 10 years ago, when I was finally able to go to sleep without having violent nightmares each night. But the nightmare still played on the edge of my mind, and I didn't want to scream myself awake in the morning. I see Cassiel look at me, concern on his face.
"It was that bad?" He asks slowly, and I nod. He quickly draws me in closer, pressing me flush against his mid-section. I'm already absorbing his heat, this warmth in him that pulsed endlessly, and I snuggle up closer. "Very well, princess. I will guard your dreams tonight." I laugh softly, and close my eyes. "Aren't you supposed to guard my dreams every night?" I reply, and the room goes silent.
"I only guard your dreams when you wish me to, my princess. I wish not to intrude into your privacy." Cassiel replied, and I scoff. "Cas, you read my mind. Isn't that intruding into my privacy?" He laughs at my statement and pulls me in closer to him. "Yes, but you do not mind me doing so, do you not?" I smile, and begin to feel the pull of unconsciousness at the center of my mind, drawing me in slowly. "Nope Cas, I don't mind." I sigh, "You can read my thoughts all you want angel."
I already know Cassiel is smiling when he replies to my offer. "Very well Aless. Rest well princess, I will guard you and your dreams tonight." His laugh is the last thing I hear as I fall into a deep sleep.